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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue higher taxes should be collected from industries causing higher than industrial pollution, whereas other argue there are better ways to deal it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Industrial
pollution
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 has become a growing environmental concern in many parts of the world. Some people believe that industries responsible for high levels of
pollution
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 should pay higher
taxes
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,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that alternative measures would be more effective in tackling these issues.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both perspectives
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 my opinion in
favor
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favour
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 of the latter will be established.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main
courses
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causes
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 of environmental degradation is the large amount of
pollution
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 produced by industrial activities. Imposing higher
taxes
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 on heavily polluting industries could be an effective way to address
this
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 problem, as it would encourage
companies
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 to reduce their emissions and adopt more environmentally friendly practices.
For example
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, factories that are required to pay higher
taxes
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 for releasing excessive amounts of carbon dioxide may be more willing to invest in cleaner technologies to reduce their tax burden.
However
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,
this
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 approach
also
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 has some drawbacks, as higher
taxes
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 could increase production costs, leading
companies
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 to raise product prices and placing a greater financial burden on consumers.
Body paragraph 2
Instead
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 of relying solely on higher
taxes
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, governments should enforce stricter environmental laws to control industrial
pollution
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. These regulations could set limits on the amount of harmful substances factories are allowed to release and require regular inspections to ensure compliance.
Companies
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 that violate these rules should face serious penalties,
such
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 as heavy fines or suspension of their operating licences.
For instance
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, a factory that releases untreated wastewater into a river could be ordered to suspend its operations until the
pollution
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 problems are resolved.
This
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 approach would prevent environmental damage at its source rather than simply requiring
companies
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 to pay more money, making it a potentially more effective solution to industrial
pollution
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 higher
taxes
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 may encourage industries to reduce their emissions, I believe that enforcing environmental laws is
more
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a more
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 effective long-term
solutions
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solution
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, as it holds polluters accountable and helps safeguard the environment for future generations.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view. To make your view stronger, explain more clearly why laws work better than taxes when a company can still pay and keep polluting.
task response
Your examples are clear, but they are general. Add one more real or more detailed case, such as checks on waste water, air smoke, or factory rules.
task response
In the last part, change “more effective long-term solutions” to “a more effective long-term solution.” This makes your final view clear and correct.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first taxes, then other ways, then your view. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Instead of relying solely on higher taxes” is good, but you can also use “As a result” after a cause and effect to make links even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors that may stop smooth reading. Write “One of the main causes,” not “courses,” and write “deal with it,” not “deal it.”
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain the tax view, the other view, and your own view.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand. Taxes can push firms to cut pollution, while rules can stop harm before it happens.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea, an explanation, and an example. This makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final parts clearly show the topic and your own view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • polluting industries
  • environmental damage
  • carbon emissions
  • pollution tax
  • pay for the damage caused
  • cleaner technology
  • renewable energy
  • waste disposal
  • strict emission limits
  • regular inspections
  • environmental regulations
  • financial penalties
  • raise production costs
  • pass costs on to consumers
  • government funding
  • tax incentives
  • green alternatives
  • reduce their environmental impact
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