The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

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The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
The diagram illustrates the
life
Use synonyms
sentence of huge fish, namely
salmon
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can
observed
Verb problem
be observed
show examples
that it is
cyclical
Add an article
a cyclical
show examples
system, and there is 3 stages Firsly the time that spends on forming
salmon
Use synonyms
is around 5-6
month
Check wording
months
show examples
, usually they
formed
Wrong verb form
form
show examples
in the depths of the river. After that, fries move from minor rivers to lower, where they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
approximately 4 years, and transform the size of their body to the middle one,
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
accounts for 12-15cm. So
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the end of being on lower
waterplace
Correct your spelling
water place
, they turn into a smolt.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they decide to change the place of living, and
passes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pass
show examples
through huge distances,
then
Linking Words
reach substancial sea, which is the
last
Linking Words
homey
Correct your spelling
home
of their
life
Use synonyms
sequence.
Finally
Linking Words
,
salmon
Use synonyms
enters in a adulthood
life
Use synonyms
, by amounting to 70-75cm long of the body.
Whats
Correct your spelling
What's
more,
salmon
Use synonyms
leave the
Verb problem
spend
show examples
most
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
of their
life
Use synonyms
in the oceans, which is around 5 years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words life, salmon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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