IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
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Some
people
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 believe that
investments
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 in space projects are a waste of
money
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. For these
people
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, the
money
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 of taxpayers should be spent in other areas to bring more benefits to citizens. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view and
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reasons. It is known that the budget of the government is finite and it is not possible to invest in all fields at the same amount and at the same time.
As a consequence
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, public authorities have to make choices and define priorities. So, in my opinion,
investments
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 in subjects
such
Linking Words
 as poverty and health,
for example
Linking Words
, are more important, from the perspective of the population, than sending a new rocket to the Moon or to Mars.
Furthermore
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, there are several urgent problems like climate change and global warming to be addressed as soon as possible. As the sources of
money
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 are limited, the government should make decisions to help more
people
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.
On the other hand
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, there is no doubt that researches in space exploration bring some improvements in technology and innovations. There are many examples of new products developed
due to
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 the massive
investments
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 in the exploration of the universe.
For instance
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, we can cite spirographic pens, microwave ovens, and satellite communication. Another good example is the huge evolution of computers in the
last
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 decade. All in all,
to conclude
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, I think that despite the
investments
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 in space exploration bringing some advantages, there are other areas much more urgent to invest the
money
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 of
people
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. As mentioned before,
elimination
Correct article usage
the elimination
show examples
 of poverty and environmental issues should be the priority.
Submitted by fmulato on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, with both an introduction and conclusion present. To further improve your score in coherence and cohesion, consider adding more linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have responded to the task effectively by stating your opinion clearly and providing reasons to support it. However, to achieve a higher score in task achievement, include more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
The essay introduces and concludes the argument in a clear manner, presenting a well-defined opinion.
Logical Structure
You've provided a logical flow of ideas, which enhances the readability and understanding of your argument.
Balanced Argument
Your acknowledgement of the benefits of space exploration, despite your stance, shows an ability to consider multiple perspectives.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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