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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is widely considered that living a healthy
lifestyle
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 in rural areas is easier than living in
cities
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. From my perspective , living in the
countryside
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 has a
lot
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 of benefits.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason is that living in the
countryside
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 will lead to a healthy
lifestyle
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. There are people who plant vegetables and fruits. Their structions a rich vitamins and nutrients. If people eat nature feeds, they will be healthier, have a strong immune system, doesn’t get sick very often.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
 the
statistic
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statistics
show examples
, in Uzbekistan regions very few types of the disease
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
show examples
 than in
cities
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statistics
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apply
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, living in the
countryside
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 help healthy
lifestyle
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.
Moreover
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, rural areas have less air pollution, less traffic noise, and more opportunities for outdoor activities, which can improve people’s physical and mental health.
Body paragraph 2
Living in
cities
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 has a
lot
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 of advantages for health because there are modern healthcare
and
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facilities and
show examples
 professions work in
cities
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. Hospitals have a
lot
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 of facilities. As a reason, if patients are treated in
cities
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, they will recover faster because healthcare has a
lot
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 of facilities, necessary tools and equipment. Patients can take care of quality because there are world-wise professions work in
cities
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.
For instance
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, in the capital of Uzbekistan, there are many modern and new hospitals
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 every year.
Therefore
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, many healthcare places can give quality care and experienced professionals.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 living in
cities
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 has huge benefits for a healthy
lifestyle
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, I think living in the
countryside
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 is more advantageous than living in
cities
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, because people are healthier and feel healthier when eating natural food.

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task response
You discuss both places and give your own view, which is good. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why country life is healthier overall. Also say that city care may help people after they get ill, while country life may help people stay well.
task response
Some ideas need more detail. For example, explain how fresh food, clean air, and less noise can help the body and mind. In the city paragraph, explain how doctors, hospitals, and quick care can help in a real health problem.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. The example about Uzbekistan is too general and the words are not clear. You can give a simple made-up example, such as a person who walks every day in a village and eats food grown near home.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: country life first, city life next, and your view at the end. Keep this order, but make each main paragraph start with one clear point.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas more smoothly. Use simple words such as “First,” “Also,” “However,” “For example,” and “As a result.” Do not use “Therefore” too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence is clear before you move to the next idea. For example, “Their structions a rich vitamins and nutrients” is hard to understand. Write: “These foods are rich in vitamins and nutrients.”
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph gives your view, but it can be more balanced. State that cities offer better health care, then clearly say why you still choose the countryside.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you describe health benefits in the countryside, health benefits in cities, and your own view.
task response
You use useful health ideas, such as fresh food, clean air, outdoor time, hospitals, doctors, and medical tools.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and ending are present, and your own opinion is easy to find.
coherence and cohesion
The two main paragraphs focus on different sides of the topic, so the reader can follow your main plan.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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