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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many products that we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion

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Introduction
Many goods sold in the market are actually manufactured by other nations.
This
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 practice increases the relationship between nations and provides variety to consumers ,
as well as
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 decreases
its
Correct determiner usage
the
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 price.
While
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I believe it affects the market and industries negatively for the importing
country
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.
Body paragraph 1
When countries buy
products
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 from each other, it improves trade relations
with
Change preposition
between
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 the governments of
respective
Add an article
the respective
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 nations.
Also
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, customers get different kinds of
products
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 at lower prices. They have a chance to choose a better quality or a brand they prefer.
Thus
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, it has a good impact on the
country
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's relations and consumers' needs.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
due to
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 more imports, the market of that nation starts to weaken. The industries start to fall
due to
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 fewer profits and more competition. Because of
this
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, unemployment increases , which harmfully affects the economy of the
country
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.
Hence
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, the money outflow from the
country
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 increases , causing inflation-like conditions.
Conclusion
To summarise it, it can be said that the imports help to create goodwill in the world and provide
products
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 at a lower
price
Punctuation problem
price,
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while
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 it hits the economic growth of the nation and cause big problems in the environment. So the balance between the imports and purchasing power of the
country
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 should be considered before buying unnecessarily and already made in the
country
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products
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.
This
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 can help to minimise the problems in the future.

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task response
You answer all parts of the task: you discuss good and bad points and give your view. To make your ideas stronger, explain each point more fully. For example, say how low-cost goods help families with less money, or how local firms may lose workers.
task response
Your main view is clear: too many imports can hurt the buying country. State this view more directly in the first paragraph, then repeat it in a short, clear way at the end.
task response
Use real or clear examples. For instance, foreign phones may give buyers more choice, but a local phone firm may sell less and cut jobs. Examples make your points easier to believe.
task response
Be careful with the last point about the environment. It is not explained in the main body, so it feels new. Add a body point about travel and fuel, or remove it from the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, good points, bad points, and end. This helps the reader follow your work.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “Also”, “Thus”, “On the other hand”, and “Hence” are used well. Do not use too many links in one paragraph; make sure each link shows a clear reason, result, or contrast.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the second body paragraph, the ideas about weak firms, job loss, money leaving the country, and price rises need clearer steps. Explain the chain: more imports → less local sales → job cuts → less income for workers.
coherence and cohesion
Some word groups are not clear enough. Instead of “the market of that nation starts to weaken”, write “local businesses may lose sales”. Instead of “inflation-like conditions”, explain exactly what may happen, such as “the country may spend more money on imports than it earns from exports”.
task response
You give both sides of the issue and clearly say that imports should be kept in balance.
coherence and cohesion
The use of separate paragraphs for the good and bad sides makes the essay easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
The ending returns to your main idea and gives a practical final thought.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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