Many products that we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Nowdays
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Nowadays
, most purchased
products
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were
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are
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made in other countries
,
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. This
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this
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essay will discuss the
benfits
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benefits
and drawbacks and give my honest opinion.
Body paragraph 1
It is clear that
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many
products
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are shipped from outside and brought to their
country
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, for reasons like,
firstly
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,
products
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have higher quality with lower
price
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price,
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secondly
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secondly,
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the
veriaty
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variety
of choices and the
uniqe
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unique
finds
and
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, and
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finally
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finally,
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the cost of shipping can
advange
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advance
the home
country
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bring more jobs and
raise
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raising
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the
econemy
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economy
.
Body paragraph 2
In
adition
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addition
,
this
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can lower the purchaser
country
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's economy and bring unemployment, because many
are
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do
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not
supporting
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support
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their own
country
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's
products
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,
therefore
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the economy will fall
and
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, and
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the
numbers
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number
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of
unemployment
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unemployed
will rise.
Conclusion
On
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In
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conclusion, it is better to buy from your own
country
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and
supporting
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support
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the local market,
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this
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as this
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can bring more jobs to others and raise the
country
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's economy

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task response
You answer all parts: you discuss good and bad points and give your view. However, your ideas need more detail. Explain how low prices help people, and how buying from other countries can hurt local jobs.
task response
Use clear, real examples. For example, say that imported phones may cost less, while local clothes makers may sell less and need fewer workers.
task response
Your own view is clear at the end, but add it earlier too. You could say that buying some goods from other countries is good, but people should also support local shops when they can.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, main ideas, and an ending. This gives it a clear basic shape. Make each main point its own full paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The second paragraph has too many ideas in one long sentence. Split it into short sentences. Start with one main idea, explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words more clearly: "First", "Also", "However", "As a result", and "In conclusion". Do not use many ideas after one comma.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first main paragraph easier to follow. At present, it moves from price and choice to shipping, jobs, and the economy without enough explanation.
task response
You give both advantages and disadvantages, and you clearly state that local buying can help jobs and the economy.
coherence and cohesion
The ending matches your main view and gives the essay a clear finish.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as "firstly", "finally", "because", and "therefore".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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