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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children born to wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction
Some
people
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 think that
children
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 from poor
families
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 can deal with adult
life
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 problems better than
children
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 from rich
families
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion to a large extent because growing up with less money helps
people
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 become stronger and more independent.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
children
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 who grow up in wealthy
families
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 get many good things. They can go to expensive schools, have private teachers, and get whatever they want. Because of
this
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, they do not have to worry about money when they are young. When they grow up, their parents can
also
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 help them find good jobs or give them a house.
This
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 makes their
life
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 much easier in the beginning, and they do not face the same financial stress as others.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I believe that
children
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 from poor
families
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 learn more important
life
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 lessons. When
people
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 do not have much money, they learn how to save and spend carefully.
For example
Linking Words
, many students from lower-income
families
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 have to work part-time jobs to pay for their own studies.
This
Linking Words
 teaches them how to manage their time and solve problems by themselves. When they face difficulties in adult
life
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, they do not give up easily because they are already used to hard situations.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 rich
children
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 have more financial support and resources, I think that growing up with financial problems teaches
children
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 better skills for adult
life
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. Overcoming hardships makes
people
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 stronger and more prepared for the real world.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree to a large extent. To make the answer stronger, also say that money alone does not decide how well a child will deal with adult life. Some rich children can learn to work hard, and some poor children may have fewer chances. This will make your view more full and fair.
task response
Give one more clear example of an adult problem, such as losing a job, paying rent, or caring for a family. Then show how skills from a poor home can help with that problem.
task response
The rich-family paragraph is useful, but it mostly lists good things. Link it more clearly to your main point by saying that too much help may mean less chance to make choices, fix problems, or learn from mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Keep this plan. Make the link between the two body parts clearer by using a line such as: “However, having more money does not always mean being more ready for adult life.”
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more linking words to show cause and result, such as “therefore”, “as a result”, and “for this reason”. Do not use them in every line; use them only where the link is needed.
coherence and cohesion
In the first body part, the last two lines both say that rich children have an easier start. You can join them or use the space for a clearer contrast with the skills learned by children from poor homes.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same view from the first line to the end.
task response
Your part-time work example is on topic and clearly shows how young people can learn to manage time and solve problems.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your answer easily.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and closing are clear and match each other well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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