Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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Introduction
Some people believe that
art
is essential for society and Use synonyms
culture
. In my opinion, it is important for Use synonyms
children
to learn Use synonyms
art
, but I do not think they should focus on Use synonyms
art
more than other Use synonyms
subjects
.Use synonyms
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, learning
art
is very important for young Use synonyms
children
. First of all, Use synonyms
art
helps Use synonyms
children
to express their feelings and ideas. Use synonyms
For example
, when Linking Words
children
draw or paint pictures, they can relax and show their imagination. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
art
helps to understand Use synonyms
culture
and history because every nation has its own traditional Use synonyms
art
forms. If Use synonyms
children
learn Use synonyms
art
at school, they can respect their Use synonyms
culture
and learn how to be creative.Use synonyms
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
, Linking Words
art
should not be more important than other Use synonyms
subjects
like math, science, or language. These Use synonyms
subjects
are very useful for Use synonyms
the
future Correct article usage
apply
career
and daily life. Check wording
careers
For instance
, if a student wants to become a doctor or engineer, they need strong knowledge in math and science, not just drawing. If schools focus too much on Linking Words
art
, students may not get enough skills Use synonyms
for finding
a good job in the modern world. Wrong verb form
to find
Therefore
, a balance is needed between Linking Words
art
and academic Use synonyms
subjects
.Use synonyms
Conclusion
In conclusion, I agree that
art
plays a great role in Use synonyms
children
’s development and Use synonyms
culture
. Use synonyms
However
, it should not be Linking Words
prioritized
over main Change the spelling
prioritised
subjects
because other skills are equally important for their future life.Use synonyms
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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why art is needed at school, not only why it is good for children. You could also say how art can help in other school work or in later life.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some points need more support. For example, explain why learning about art helps children know their culture, with one real example such as a local song, dance, or picture style.
task response
The example about doctors and engineers is useful. Add one example where art is useful in work, such as design, building, or making ads. This will make your view more balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas in each part are in a good order. You use links such as “First of all”, “Also”, “For example”, and “Therefore” well. Try not to use “art” too many times; use words like “this subject” or “creative work” when it is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between your first main part and your own view more direct. At the end of the first part, you could say that these good points show why art should be taught, but in a fair amount of time.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and clearly state that art matters but should not come before all other subjects.
task response
Your points are relevant and easy to understand. The examples about drawing, doctors, and engineers fit your ideas well.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear main idea, and the ending repeats your view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
The use of short linking words helps the reader follow your ideas without difficulty.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite