Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Some people believe that
art
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is essential for society and
culture
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. In my opinion, it is important for
children
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to learn
art
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, but I do not think they should focus on
art
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more than other
subjects
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, learning
art
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is very important for young
children
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. First of all,
art
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helps
children
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to express their feelings and ideas.
For example
Linking Words
, when
children
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draw or paint pictures, they can relax and show their imagination.
Also
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,
art
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helps to understand
culture
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and history because every nation has its own traditional
art
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forms. If
children
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learn
art
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at school, they can respect their
culture
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and learn how to be creative.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
art
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should not be more important than other
subjects
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like math, science, or language. These
subjects
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are very useful for
the
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apply
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future
career
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careers
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and daily life.
For instance
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, if a student wants to become a doctor or engineer, they need strong knowledge in math and science, not just drawing. If schools focus too much on
art
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, students may not get enough skills
for finding
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to find
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a good job in the modern world.
Therefore
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, a balance is needed between
art
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and academic
subjects
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I agree that
art
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plays a great role in
children
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’s development and
culture
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.
However
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, it should not be
prioritized
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prioritised
show examples
over main
subjects
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because other skills are equally important for their future life.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why art is needed at school, not only why it is good for children. You could also say how art can help in other school work or in later life.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some points need more support. For example, explain why learning about art helps children know their culture, with one real example such as a local song, dance, or picture style.
task response
The example about doctors and engineers is useful. Add one example where art is useful in work, such as design, building, or making ads. This will make your view more balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas in each part are in a good order. You use links such as “First of all”, “Also”, “For example”, and “Therefore” well. Try not to use “art” too many times; use words like “this subject” or “creative work” when it is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between your first main part and your own view more direct. At the end of the first part, you could say that these good points show why art should be taught, but in a fair amount of time.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and clearly state that art matters but should not come before all other subjects.
task response
Your points are relevant and easy to understand. The examples about drawing, doctors, and engineers fit your ideas well.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear main idea, and the ending repeats your view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
The use of short linking words helps the reader follow your ideas without difficulty.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
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