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Band 5.5

Some people think that secondary school should add international news as a subject; others think that it is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views.

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Introduction
More and more people think that adding global subjects,
such
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 as international
is
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studies, is
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 not essential in secondary school,
while
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 other people disagree with
this
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 view. From my perspective, both opinions are equally important for two main reasons.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, I would argue that studying
this
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 kind of subject can affect education in a positive way. The argument is that these students in secondary school will learn crucial news in order to be aware of current global events.
This
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 phenomenon results in a conscious generation, ultimately leading to an improvement in the educational system in the country.
For instance
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, a learner read an article about fire forests in California and how
this
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 phenomenon occurs
due to
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 global warming.
Therefore
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, the educational system will certainly improve
due to
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 the presence of
this
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 strategy.
Body paragraph 2
Conversely
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, I am convinced that learning international news in secondary school will negatively influence orgnisational aspect. What I mean is that
this
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 method is bound to waste students' time
in
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on
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 unimportant subjects.
This
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 process is likely to miss opportunities to learn more practical or scientific courses. A study conducted by the Department of Education at Melbourne University in 2025 concluded that 80% of beneficial products and services are based on scientific courses.
As a result
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, the performance of
educational
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the educational
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 system is likely to be enhanced if that method is taken into account.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 a significant number of people believe that raising awareness is the main cause for learning international news, others disagree for an organisational purpose.

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task response
Discuss both views more fully. Explain why some people feel world news is useful at school, and why others feel class time should go to other subjects.
task response
Make your own view clear. You say both views are important, but you do not clearly say what schools should do. For example, say that world news should be taught for a short time each week.
task response
Use examples that directly prove your point. The fire example shows why world news matters, but it does not show how the whole school system will improve.
task response
Avoid claims that are not well linked to the point. The study about products and services based on science does not clearly prove that world news wastes school time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, one paragraph for each view, and an ending. Keep this simple four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between each idea clearer. In the first body paragraph, move from learning news to being aware of events, then explain how this helps students in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat broad ideas such as 'the educational system will improve' unless you explain exactly how it will improve.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear words to name the topic. Write 'international news' or 'world news' instead of 'global subjects' or 'this method' when the meaning may be unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending match the body paragraphs and your view. It should sum up both sides and state your final choice clearly.
task response
You address both sides of the question: the value of knowing world events and the need for time for other school subjects.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each main view has its own body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as 'First of all', 'For instance', 'Conversely', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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