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Writing Samples
Band 3

Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? What are the problems?

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Introduction
In recent years, many developing
countries
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are currently
Wrong verb form
have been
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 expanding in
tourist
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the tourist
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 industries.
This
Linking Words
 trend has become increasingly common because
tourism
Use synonyms
 can bring significant economic benefits.
However
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 create several issues for local communities and
environment
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the environment
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.
Body paragraph 1
There are several
reason
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reasons
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 why many developing
countries
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 are investing in
tourism
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. First of all,
tourism
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 can attract a lot of foreign
in come
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income
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.
This
Linking Words
 is owing to the fact that visitors spend money on accommodation, food, and entertainment, which can contribute to economic growth.
Second,
Linking Words
tourist industries
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
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 a variety of job opportunities for indigenous peoples, particularly
hotels
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in hotels
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, restaurant and transport services.
Finally
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, many developing
countries
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 have attractive natural landscapes and rich cultural heritage.
Therefore
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, promoting these features can attract more international visitors.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, developing tourist industries can
also
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 cause some serious issues. One major
issues
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issue
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 is environmental damage. A large
a mount
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amount
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 of visitors are
litter
Wrong verb form
littering
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 or
pollution of
Replace the word
polluting
 natural
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
. Another problem is overcrowding,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can put pressure on local infrastructure
such
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 as roads and public transport.
Conclusion
In conclusion, developing
countries
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 are expanding
tourism
Use synonyms
 mainly because it provides economic benefits, creates employment and makes use of their natural and cultural
attractive
Replace the word
attractions
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, uncontrolled
tourism
Use synonyms
 can cause harm in environmental and pressure on infrastructure

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. Add more detail about why tourism is important, such as more tax money, new small businesses, and money for roads or schools.
task response
Your problems are clear, but explain the results more fully. For example, say that waste can hurt sea life, and too many people can make roads, water, and buses hard for local people to use.
task response
Use one or two clear examples. You could write about a beach town where hotels bring jobs but also leave plastic on the beach.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, reasons, problems, and conclusion. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea a full point, then explain it before moving on. In the problems paragraph, separate environmental harm and overcrowding with clear linking words such as “First” and “Second.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid joining two full sentences with only a comma. For example, change “Another problem is overcrowding, it can...” to “Another problem is overcrowding. It can...”
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and spelling because they can make ideas less clear: “reasons,” “tourist industry,” “foreign income,” “creates,” “restaurants,” “amount,” “areas,” and “attractive features.”
task response
You give three useful reasons for tourism growth: foreign money, jobs, and natural or cultural places.
task response
You choose two important problems: harm to the environment and pressure on local services.
coherence and cohesion
The opening states both the good side and the bad side, so the reader can follow your main plan.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to the main reasons and problems and gives the essay a clear ending.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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