IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that governments should provide free or low-cost housing for people who cannot afford it, while others think housing should be left to the private market. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
Linking Words
 era of inflation,
fulfil
Wrong verb form
fulfilling
show examples
 a decent need
such
Linking Words
 as housing is
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 difficult requirement to fulfil
according to
Linking Words
 average payrolls.
some
Capitalize the word
Some
show examples
 individuals argued that higher authorities should take the responsibility to provide
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 a small apartment to those who really need it .
while
Linking Words
 others
belave
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it should be considered as a private matter.
According to
Linking Words
 me ,
instead
Linking Words
 of providing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free or
low cost
Correct your spelling
low-cost
 housing ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can build law

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task response
Your answer starts to show both sides, but it stops before you discuss them. Write one full part about why the state should help people who cannot pay for a home. Write another full part about why homes should stay in private hands.
task response
Make your own view clear and finish it. You say the state can make laws, but you do not say what laws or how they would help. Explain this idea with clear points.
task response
Add simple real examples. For example, the state could build small homes for low-pay workers, or make rules that stop very high rent in some areas.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: first part with your main idea, one part for the first view, one part for the other view and your view, then a short end.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'First', 'However', 'For example', 'As a result', and 'In the end'. This will make the writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. Do not put many ideas into one very long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence starts and full stops. Start each sentence with a capital letter, and leave a space after a full stop.
task response
You understand the main issue: many people find housing hard to pay for.
task response
You mention both the state role and the private market view.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening gives your own view, so the reader can see your main direction.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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