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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that secondary school should add international news as a subject; others think that it is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views.

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Introduction
People have different views on whether secondary schools should include international
news
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 as a subject.
While
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 some instructors believe that it is a waste of valuable time, others argue that it can provide
students
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 with useful knowledge. In my opinion, introducing international
news
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 will positively affect
students
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' perspectives and understanding of the world.
Body paragraph 1
There are various reasons why some professors may consider international
news
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 a distraction to
students
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. One of them is that it may divert
students
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' attention from their main subjects.
For example
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, a science student who is required to study international
news
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 regarding changes in taxation may find
this
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 information irrelevant to their academic interests.
As a result
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,
students
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 may spend valuable time learning about topics that do not directly contribute to their academic development, rather than focusing on their current essential topics for their future careers.
Furthermore
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, introducing an additional subject could increase
students
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' academic workload, leaving them with less time to concentrate on their existing academic studies.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, learning about international
news
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 can broaden
students
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' understanding of the world.
This
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 is because
students
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 will become more aware of important global events, including political conflicts, economic changes and environmental issues.
For instance
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, learning about inflation in different countries can help
students
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 understand how changes in the global economy affect society’s daily lives.
Additionally
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, being exposed to different perspectives can develop
students
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' critical thinking skills,
as well as
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,
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apply
show examples
 express wider general knowledge of
students
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' perspectives. By allowing them to form their own opinions rather than simply accepting information.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 international
news
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 may increase
students
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' workloads and distract them from their main subjects, I believe that its educational benefits outweigh its disadvantages. It provides valuable real-world understanding and encourages
students
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 to become more informed individuals.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why news should be a school subject, not only useful extra learning. You could say how it may help students in daily life, work, or study.
task response
Your examples are useful, but the tax example is not very close to most school students. Use a more direct example, such as war, climate change, or a world health problem, and show how learning about it helps students.
task response
In the second main part, make the link between news and critical thinking clearer. Explain that students can compare two reports, ask who made the report, and decide if the facts are fair.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this shape, but make the first sentence of each main part state the key point in a more direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow in a clear order. However, this part is not a full sentence: "By allowing them to form their own opinions rather than simply accepting information." Join it to the sentence before it, for example: "This allows them to form their own opinions rather than simply accept information."
coherence and cohesion
Use link words with care. "Additionally" and "Furthermore" work well, but do not add too many. Make sure each new sentence adds one clear new idea.
coherence and cohesion
A few word choices make the flow less clear. For example, change "as well as, express wider general knowledge" to "and give them wider general knowledge." This makes the idea easier to read.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain why some people see the subject as a waste of time, why others support it, and you state your own view.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic. The points about time, school work, world events, and critical thinking are all relevant.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each main part has one main side of the discussion, and the ending clearly repeats your view.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear links such as "For example", "As a result", "On the other hand", and "In conclusion" to guide the reader.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global affairs
  • international current events
  • a broader worldview
  • critical thinking skills
  • media literacy
  • reliable news sources
  • recognise bias
  • different cultural perspectives
  • global challenges
  • an overcrowded curriculum
  • core academic subjects
  • valuable classroom time
  • politically sensitive issues
  • age-appropriate material
  • balanced discussion
  • well-informed citizens
  • integrate into social studies
  • a weekly news review
  • keep up with world events
  • develop informed opinions
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