Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

7.0 / 9

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Introduction

In the contemporary era,

people

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have diverse tendencies towards the relationship between

money

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and

happiness

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This

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thinking has made two groups, one that thinks that wealth is the reason for joy,

while

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the other has a different belief. They believe that a person's

happiness

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is not related to net worth. I would say

money

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can buy things, not

happiness

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, and I will put supporting statements and examples to explain my view.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

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, look at the current world. Most of the

people

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are working extremely hard to increase their remuneration. If we want to buy something, we need to spend

money

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Also

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, the more you earn, the higher your expectations will go.

For example

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, a poor guy earns to be a middle-class, a middle-class earns to be a millionaire, a millionaire earns to be a billionaire. So,

people

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's expectations go high with their income, and without a sense of satisfaction, the do not happy with whatever they have. I have seen many cases of loneliness and depression in wealthy families. Some

people

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are happy

while

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playing outdoor games that do not cost much,

while

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others prefer costly digital gadgets to play with.

Body paragraph 2

Moreover

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, it is

also

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said that

happiness

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increases if you share it with others.

For instance

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, if you have more

money

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, you can buy expensive things, purchase VIP holiday packages, and even book great hotels and trip packages.

However

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, everything is useless without the presence of friends and family members. The key to real joy is how you spend your time with others. Because

at the end

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, you will sit and remember only about your good times, not your bank balance.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, even if you are poor, do things which make you smile. Your

happiness

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is inside you, not in the

money

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you have. If you have a sense of satisfaction, and you use your time to make good memories, you can be happy always

saumilbhavsar8

Oct 31, 2026

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Task response

Your view is clear: money is not the main key to happiness. To make the answer stronger, explain that money can first give safety, food, a home, and care. Then show why love, health, friends, and a sense of purpose matter more after basic needs are met.

Task response

Develop each main point more fully. The first body part moves between high hopes, lack of joy, rich families, games, and gadgets. Pick one main idea, explain it step by step, and then give one clear example.

Task response

Some examples are too general, such as 'many cases' and 'a poor guy'. Use a clear example that directly proves your point. For example, a person may have a high pay but feel sad because they have no close time with family.

Coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Make the link between ideas smoother. In the first body part, explain how higher pay can lead to higher wants, and how this may stop people from feeling happy.

Coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'However' are useful, but some sentences need clearer links. Begin each body part with one direct main sentence, then add reasons and an example.

Coherence and cohesion

Keep one idea in each sentence. For instance, the sentence about poor, middle-class, millionaire, and billionaire people could be split into two shorter sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.

Language control

Check small grammar errors that can make meaning less clear. For example, write 'they are not happy', not 'the do not happy'; write 'a middle-class person', not 'a middle-class'; and write 'earn enough to become', not 'earns to be'.

Task response

You answer both sides of the question and give a clear opinion throughout the essay.

Task response

Your ideas about satisfaction, family, friends, and good memories are relevant and support your main view.

Coherence and cohesion

The overall order is easy to follow: introduction, reasons, and conclusion.

Coherence and cohesion

The ending returns clearly to your main message that happiness comes from more than money.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

7.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

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In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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