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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to travel with a tour guide, while others prefer to travel independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Population
Add an article
The population
show examples
 these days has many options for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
,some of them prefer
traveling whith
Correct your spelling
travelling with
 a
guide
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others prefer to discover the countries by themselves . I prefer
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 alone
in
Change preposition
apply
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these days more than having a
guide
Use synonyms
 for
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of reasons. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss why
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 alone is better
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my perspective.
Body paragraph 1
First of all
devoting
Punctuation problem
, devoting
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a
Change preposition
to a
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guide
Use synonyms
 is more expensive than independent travel. So it will need a higher budget for the
guide
Use synonyms
 food and drinks
plus
Punctuation problem
, plus
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an extra admission
Traveling
Punctuation problem
. Travelling
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 without a
guide
Use synonyms
 could be anxiety but more challenging
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the members. Guides could be the thieves and take us to their
friends
Check wording
friend's
show examples
 shop and raise the ticket prices
unlike
Punctuation problem
, unlike
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 alone.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 without a
guide
Use synonyms
 will be better for members to take their freedom and move whenever they want
unlike
Punctuation problem
, unlike
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 with a
guide
Use synonyms
 that will
feels
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 you in
hurry
Add an article
a hurry
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 to
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
 in the schedule and wake up early, sleep early, eat
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 time.
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand traveling without a
guide
Use synonyms
 isn't an issue as before
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 is because we have artificial intelligence that could help us more than guides themselves.
Ai
Capitalize the word
AI
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 can help us in several ways
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 creating schedules, and you can edit these schedules in a couple of seconds, you can book tickets online and
take
Verb problem
get
show examples
 the
factual
Correct word choice
actual
show examples
 prices.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 when tourist will plan for their next
trip
Punctuation problem
trip,
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 they can make a plan for one month in a minute
unlike
Punctuation problem
, unlike
show examples
 a
guide
Use synonyms
 who
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 hours to make a time table of one week.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I think that
Use synonyms
guide
Replace the word
guided
 tours
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 many advantages, but
ai fascinate weighs more having a
Correct word order
I find that having a guide weighs more
show examples
guide
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You give a clear view: you prefer to travel alone. However, the question asks you to discuss both views. Add one full main part about why some people choose a guide, such as safety, local facts, less planning, and help with language.
task response
Explain your own view in a more direct way. Say that travel alone can be cheaper and more free, but note that a guide may be better for some people, such as first-time visitors or older people.
task response
Your AI example is linked to your view, but it is too wide. Give one clear real-life case: a visitor can use maps, book a hotel, and change a plan on a phone.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer four-part plan: introduction, reasons for guided travel, reasons for independent travel and your view, then conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main part with one clear main idea. For example: “Guided tours are useful because they save time and make travel feel safer.” Then explain this idea before moving to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because many points are put in one long sentence. Split long sentences into short ones, especially in the first main part.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care: “On the one hand” for guided travel and “On the other hand” for independent travel. Do not begin the second part with “In the other hand.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence clear and complete. State your final view again instead of saying that AI “weighs more,” which is not clear here.
task response
You answer the question with a clear personal view and give reasons such as cost, freedom, and easy planning with AI.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic path through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use an example about making a travel plan and booking tickets online. This helps show what you mean.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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