IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recently read an article in the newspaper about someone you know personally. You found that some information is wrong. Write a letter to the editor to inform him about it. In your letter, write: what the article is about what the error is what you expect the editor to do

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Dear Sir/Madam, I'
m
Use synonyms
 writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you
about
Correct word choice
that
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 a mistake was made in your latest article about
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Dr.
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Dr
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 Marie
Johnson
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 and her breakthrough in cancer treatment. My name is Jules, a close friend of
Use synonyms
Dr.
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Dr
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Johnson
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. As I read through your article about her, I was surprised that you indicate her
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highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
 education was in Yorkville
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Highschool
Correct your spelling
High School
,
while
Linking Words
 in fact, she attended
Serena
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Highschool
Correct your spelling
High School
. The
reaseon
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reason
 why I'
m
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 sure about
this
Linking Words
 information is because I was a classmate of
her
Correct pronoun usage
hers
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 in
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highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
. I'
m
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 not sure why you put her in a different
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highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
, but as an usual reader of your magazine, I found
this
Linking Words
 mistake seriously damaged
Serena
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Highschool
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 reputation.
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Dr.
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Dr
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Johnson
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 was an exceptional student
of
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at
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 my school
,
Add a semicolon
;
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 she achieved many awards during her
study
Check wording
studies
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. She even
admited
Correct your spelling
admitted
 that if it wasn't for the inspiration of
Mr.
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Mr
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Marcus, a
biological
Replace the word
biology
 teacher
in
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at
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Serena
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 High, she wouldn't have
chose
Wrong verb form
chosen
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 the medical field for her higher education. My suggestion
to
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
 matter is that you can write another article about
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Dr.
Change the punctuation
Dr
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Johnson
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 and her
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highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
 so people will not be confused about her previous educational program. I'
m
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 sure that she has lots
if
Use the right word
of
show examples
 interesting stories
in regards of
Change preposition
regarding
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 her time in
Serena
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Highschool
Correct your spelling
High School
. I hope you will pay your immediate attention to
this
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 matter.
I
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If
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 you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me. Yours faithfully, Jules

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task response
You cover all three points: the news story, the wrong fact, and what the editor should do. Make your request more direct: ask for a correction in the next paper and on the paper's web page.
task response
Use a more formal style. Do not write "I'm not sure why" or "you put her". Say "The article states" and "I would be grateful if you could".
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order, but some long sentences are hard to read. Use shorter sentences to make each point clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each paragraph. Put the wrong school and your proof in one paragraph. Put the bad effect and your request in the next paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words, such as "However", "Therefore", and "As a result", to show how your ideas are linked.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and spelling, for example: "a mistake was made", "high school", "reason", "admitted", "chosen", and "If you have any questions".
task response
The letter gives clear facts about the article and says exactly which school Dr. Johnson went to.
task response
You give a useful reason for why the fact is wrong: you were her classmate.
coherence and cohesion
The opening, body paragraphs, and closing are easy to see, and the letter ends in a polite way.
coherence and cohesion
Your idea of writing a new story about her school is clear and linked to the error.
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