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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that university education should be free for all students, regardless of their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
Many people think that
students
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' education
fee
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 in
university
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 should be free, regardless of their personal and family's financial background. From my perspective, I totally disagree that every student's education
fee
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 should be free.
Body paragraph 1
There are several reasons why I don't agree every one can be free to
study
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 in the
university
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.
First,
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this
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 can lead to a huge headache for the government and the
university
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's financial system.
For example
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, some of Taiwan's national universities already need billions of dollars to keep their campus running and paying their employee; and most of the fees that
students
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 pay are used to repair campus hardware. If that money has been cut, universities need to ask the government for more financial support.
Second,
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most of the
students
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 are capable of paying their education
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fee
Check wording
fees
show examples
. In Taiwan,
students
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 in a national
university
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 only have to pay around 50 thousand NT dollars per year, and 80 thousand for those who are studying in a private
university
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. Most of the family is willing to pay for their kid to
study
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 because the
fee
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 is affordable.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, in my view, there are
also
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 some
students
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 who don't have to pay for their studies in
university
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, because of their special financial situations or personal behaviour.
Although
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 nowadays most of the
students
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 studying in Taiwan are quite wealthy, there are still some
students
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 in society who need financial support. It is necessary to reduce the
fee
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 or even be free for those who need help and are willing to
study
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 but lack resources, in order to achieve social equality.
Conclusion
In short,
university
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 should not be free for all
students
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, but
students
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 with little money should get lower fees or free
study
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.

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task response
Your view is clear: university should not be free for all, but poor students should get help. Make your first line more direct, for example: “I disagree that university should be free for every student.”
task response
Explain your first main point more fully. Say why more state money for universities may be a problem: it may mean less money for health, roads, or schools.
task response
Your Taiwan facts are useful and on-topic. Be careful with broad claims such as “most students are wealthy” or “most families can pay”. Add a reason, or use softer words such as “many” or “some”.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: your view, two reasons, help for poor students, and a short end. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “This is because…”, “As a result…”, and “On the other hand…”. This will show how each point leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are long and hold more than one idea. Break them into two short lines so the reader can follow your point more easily.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion from the start to the end.
task response
The example about university fees in Taiwan makes your ideas more real and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph matches your main view and gives a clear final answer.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First”, “Second”, “However”, and “In short” help the reader follow the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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