Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for the improvement of health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments?

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Introduction
Any researches are important to gain knowledge, and it has to come from every
sectors
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sector
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.
Body paragraph 1
From my
perspectives
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perspective
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, whether it's coming from companies, individuals, or governments,
need
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they need
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to know the aim of doing it.
Body paragraph 2
Private companies have a lot of financial
source
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resources
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to support
researches
Replace the word
research
.
Body paragraph 3
Sometimes individuals have less financial support
so
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, so
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their research might
be
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apply
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get delayed, but they have their own boundaries to explore their
researches
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research
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.
Conclusion
Government is having the most neutral position to fund the research, as long as they could get the benefit
in
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from
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it.

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task response
State your own clear view in the first part. For example, say if the government should pay most, or if all three should share the cost.
task response
Explain why each group should or should not pay. Your points about companies, people, and the government are very short, so the reader cannot fully see your reasons.
task response
Give real or clear examples. For instance, governments can pay for work on rare diseases, while companies can pay for new drugs that they may sell later.
task response
Write a final part that repeats your main view and answers the question directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: first part with your view, one part about private companies, one part about governments and people, then a final part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'In the end'.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point into a full paragraph with a topic sentence, an explanation, and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not clear, such as 'they have their own boundaries'. Say exactly what you mean, for example, 'they may have less money and fewer tools for their work'.
task response
You discuss all three possible sources of money: companies, individuals, and governments.
task response
You show an important idea that the aim of research should be clear before money is given.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has separate parts for companies, individuals, and the government, which is a useful start.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • funding
  • innovation
  • research and development (R&D)
  • public health
  • profit-driven
  • philanthropist
  • breakthroughs
  • accessible
  • financial resources
  • allocation of funds
  • collaboration
  • incentive
  • accountability
  • transparency
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