Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
news
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is a way to know about what is
happing
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happening
in the world right now, and people from the very old times until now are still using it.
While
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it is commonly held
belief
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apply
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that reading the
news
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from the newspapers or watching the
news
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programs on TV, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
news
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are
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is
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a crucial part of everyone's life and they should pay
attantion
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attention
to it.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with,
news
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is very connected to our lives more than you think.
In other words
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, a war could start in your country
and
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, and
show examples
you won't know unless you
watched
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watch
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your television.
In addition
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, many governments use it as the primary source to give their citizens instructions.
For example
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, they will order them to have enough food and water supply, and to stay away from the windows.
Body paragraph 2
Another point to consider is that the
news
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have
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has
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a huge effect
in
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on
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the petrol prices. It is
also
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possible to say that if there is an
artical
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article
about a nation trying to start
war
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a war
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, the
prices
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price
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of
the
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apply
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oil could jump to a very high number.
In addition
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, stocks are
acutally
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actually
the most affected by the
news
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.
For instance
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, one artical even if it was not saying the
truth
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truth,
show examples
could cause a massive decrease in the stocks.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite people having different views , I believe that the
news
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is an essential tool for every person in
this
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community
,
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;
show examples
it could help in preventing many things
and
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, and
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to decide not
utilise
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to utilise
show examples
it is a stupid idea.

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task response
Your view is clear: news is important. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why news changes daily life. For example, say how news can help people plan travel, work, or money.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: safety and prices. However, some examples are too general. Give one clear real-life case for each idea, and explain the result for people.
task response
Do not use strong words such as “a stupid idea”. This can sound rude. Use calm words, such as “not a wise choice” or “may lead to problems”.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, two body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the first paragraph shorter and more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph should start with one main point, then give an example, then explain it. In the second body paragraph, separate oil prices and stocks, or focus on only one of them.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “For example”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion” are helpful, but make sure the next sentence clearly adds a new point. Also, avoid repeating “news” too often; use “it” when the meaning is clear.
task response
You answer the question directly and clearly state that you disagree with the idea that news is a waste of time.
task response
Your points about public safety, government messages, oil prices, and stocks are connected to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some clear linking words to guide the reader from one idea to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Informed
  • Current events
  • Public awareness
  • Local news
  • Global issues
  • Sensationalism
  • Misinformation
  • Bias
  • Community
  • Public safety
  • Health advisories
  • Market trends
  • Traffic updates
  • Weather forecasts
  • Educate
  • Raise awareness
  • Opinion formation
  • Decision making
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