Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution in society and should be paid more than sports and entertainment celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

There is no doubt that

doctors

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, nurses and

teachers

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make a wonderful contribution to

society

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However

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, I do not agree that they should be paid more than entertainment and

sports

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celebrities

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This

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essay will provide evidence to support my point of view.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, there are many beneficial efforts which these professions provide to the community.

Firstly

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, medical personnel save

people

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’s lives.

For example

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, they provide the sick with medical aid that suits their case.

Also

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, they sometimes get compelled to work in stressful conditions so as to do dangerous surgeries.

Secondly

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teachers

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make a great contribution to

society

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For instance

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, they teach students all the subjects in school.

Moreover

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, they contribute to raising children correctly and teaching them manners.

Finally

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, these occupations are the key to a sustainable

society

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. Case in point, patients won’t have their medical needs met without their hospital staff.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, I believe that they should not be paid more than entertainment and

sports

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celebrities

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Firstly

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, those

people

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usually have outstanding skills. To illustrate,

sports

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celebrities

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generate a great deal of money

due to

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their unbelievable talent.

Also

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, the same holds true for singers and actors.

Secondly

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, these skilled

people

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are few in comparison with other professions.

For example

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, there are millions of

doctors

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, nurses and

teachers

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who can do the same duty for

society

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However

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, the number of those

celebrities

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is far less.

Lastly

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people

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find watching

sports

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and entertainment

celebrities

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more enjoyable.

For example

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, there is nothing enjoyable about watching

doctors

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teachers

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performing their duties.

However

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people

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may spend a fortune in order to watch a football game.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is clear to see that

doctors

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, nurses and

teachers

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contribute greatly to

society

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However

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, I am positive that they should not be paid more than

celebrities

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alfred

Nov 3, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your view is clear: you do not agree. You also discuss both sides, so you answer all parts of the task.

task response

Make your main reason stronger. The fact that stars are few does not always mean they should get more pay. Explain more about money made by games, films, and shows, and why pay is linked to this money.

task response

Some examples are too general. Use one clear case, such as a football game that brings in money from tickets, TV, and ads. This will make your point more real.

task response

Be careful with broad claims. Saying that millions of doctors, nurses, and teachers can do the same job may sound unfair. These jobs need long study and skill. Say that there are more people in these jobs than top stars instead.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

In the first main part, the last point about a sustainable society is close to the earlier point about health care. You could use that space for a new idea, such as teachers helping children get ready for work and life.

coherence and cohesion

Use links with care. You use 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' well, but too many short points can make the flow feel like a list. Add more explanation after each main point.

coherence and cohesion

Keep the focus close to the question. The first body part shows why these jobs matter, but it should also link this value to the issue of pay.

task response

You give a firm view in the opening and keep the same view to the end.

task response

You include useful ideas about saving lives, teaching children, rare talent, and public demand.

coherence and cohesion

Each body part has a clear main idea, and the order of ideas is easy to understand.

coherence and cohesion

The ending clearly repeats your main view and brings the essay to a close.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution in society and should be paid more than sports and entertainment celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons ?

The old generation often hold traditional ideas about the correct way of life, thinking and behavior. However, some people think that these ideas are not helpful for young people to prepare for modern life. To what extent do agree or disagree?

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe they are children who spend a lot of time in front of screen is beneficial while others are against it discuss both