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Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Some professionals say that it is beneficial for
kids
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to begin
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 learning a foreign
language
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at
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in
show examples
 primary
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schools
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school
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 rather than high
school
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.
This
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 can have
a
Correct article usage
the
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 merit of enabling
students
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 to speak more foreign
languages
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.
This
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 is because, if they took a
language
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 as a subject from an early age, they might finish and understand it before their high
school
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 degree. At
this
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time
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, they can be able to take more
languages
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 in high
schools
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.
This
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 is greater than a disadvantage of unused
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languages
Punctuation problem
languages,
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students
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 may not choose them in their
first
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years
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 of
school
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. So, they may turn out
to not
Unsplit the infinitive
not to
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 be useful for them.
This
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,
Verb problem
is
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 unlike
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 if they chose
languages
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
school
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, they might be based on their
future
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 plans.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, primary
kids
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 may learn a mandatory
language
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at
Rephrase
for the
first
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time
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,
then
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is more likely
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not to be useful for them later in their lives. Some
schools
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 provide a mandatory
language
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at
Rephrase
in the
first
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Use synonyms
years
Check wording
year
show examples
 for pupils,
this
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language
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 is not chosen by these pupils. As an example of
this
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french
Rephrase
, French
schools
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 may provide
french
Capitalize the proper name
French
show examples
 essentially as a subject. At
this
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time
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,
kids
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 may not have real
future
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 plans for themselves, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
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language
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is turned out later to not
Correct word order
may not turn out
show examples
 to be useful for them.
This
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 is because,
after
Change preposition
over
show examples
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time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 these
kids
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 can grow up and create plans
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 not related to
this
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language
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 in any way. But, unfortunately, they waste
time
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 in a
language
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 they
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not choose
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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at
first
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.
This
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 would be useful
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if they chose a
language
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 from the
first
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time
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. So, they may choose it based on their
future
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 dreams for studying,
traveling
Punctuation problem
travelling,
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 or maybe living in cities that speak
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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language
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. So,
this
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 is true for high
school
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students
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
this
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 can leave a space to start learning other
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language at
Rephrase
languages in
 high
school
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Check wording
apply
show examples
degrees
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. Primary
schools
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 that teach children foreign
languages
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 at
first
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years
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 can be useful for them in a way.
This
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 way is that if children took
english
Capitalize the proper name
English
show examples
 in
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first
Correct determiner usage
their first
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school
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years
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for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 example, they might finish and understand it before their high
school
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degrees
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. So, they can take several
years
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 to understand grammar and
rules
Add an article
the rules
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 of
languages
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 in primary
schools
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. With
this
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Correct word order
, they can also
show examples
also
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 they can make mistakes and learn from them.
As a result
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, by the
time
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 they enter high
school
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, these
students
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 may be able to understand English as a subject to start studying other foreign
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language
Check wording
languages
show examples
 in high
school
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Check wording
apply
show examples
degrees
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.
Interstingly
Correct your spelling
Interestingly
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 some
languastics
Correct your spelling
linguists who
 say that if people
taught
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are taught
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firstly
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 english, other
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languages
Check wording
language
show examples
 rules would be easier
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them to learn. So,
this
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 may
work
Correct word order
also work
show examples
also
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 with those
students
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 to make them learn more foreign
languages
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
school
Use synonyms
Check wording
apply
show examples
degrees
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 learning a foreign
language
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 from an early age may not be useful for children,
this
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 is because at
this
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 age they
do not probably
Correct word order
probably do not
show examples
 have realistic goals about their
future
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. So
this
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the
Verb problem
is the
show examples
language
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 they are taught at
first
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 may be unused later in their lives. But,
this
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 drawback is minor
over
Change preposition
compared to
show examples
 the advantages of enabling
students
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 to learn other
languages
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at the
Correct word choice
while
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time
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 they are in high
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schools
Check wording
school
show examples
, because they might finish and understand
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one foreign
language
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 as a
subjects
Check wording
subject
show examples
. So,
this
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also
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 may make other
languages
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 easier to learn. So, we can have
kids
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 with more than one foreign
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languages
Check wording
language
show examples
.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first paragraph: say that the good points are greater than the bad points. Keep this same view in every part of the essay.
task response
Develop the main good point more fully. Explain why early language study helps children, such as better memory, more time to practise, and more ease when they learn a new language later.
task response
Make the bad point more fair. Children may not use the first language later, but they can still gain useful study skills and knowledge of other people and places.
task response
Use examples that are clear and real. The point about French schools is not clear because French is the main language there. Use a school where English is taught as an extra language instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: first paragraph with your answer, one paragraph on the bad point, one paragraph on the good point, then a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then add an explanation and one example. Do not move between several ideas in the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer repeated words and phrases, such as “at first time”, “high school degrees”, and “So”. Link ideas with simple words: however, for example, because, therefore, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending shorter and clearer. Repeat your main answer and the two key reasons, without adding new ideas.
task response
You discuss both sides of the question and make your own view clear: you believe the good points are greater.
task response
You give a useful main idea that early study can help children learn more than one language later.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words to show cause and result, such as “because”, “as a result”, and “on the other hand”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Enhance
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Pronunciation
  • Mimic
  • Native-like accent
  • Cultural awareness
  • Sensitivity
  • Exposure
  • Resource allocation
  • Qualified
  • Effective instruction
  • Overwhelmed
  • Curriculum
  • Undermining
  • Mother tongue
  • Prioritizing
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