An increasing number of large corporations are moving their offices from crowded city centers to rural areas. Do the advantages of this relocation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
A growing number of major companies are abandoning expensive headquarters in congested downtown districts in favour of sites in the countryside.
This
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essay will argue that
although
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such
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moves can isolate staff and weaken the economy of the city they leave, their advantages in terms of cost, quality of life and regional development clearly outweigh these drawbacks.
Body paragraph 1
The principal benefit of relocating is financial. Rent in a central business district can be ten times higher than in a provincial town, so a firm that moves out frees millions, which it can spend on hiring more people and paying them better over time. If the same company stayed in the centre, that money would simply disappear into a landlord's pocket. In Morocco,
for instance
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, several insurance and technology firms that shifted from Casablanca to business parks on the outskirts cut their property costs dramatically
while
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giving employees spacious offices and parking. Closely linked to
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is the effect on the workforce, since people who no longer spend two hours a day in traffic arrive calmer and rarely leave for a competitor.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, relocation does carry certain disadvantages. The most obvious is that talented young professionals prefer the restaurants, universities and social life of a metropolis, but some will refuse to follow their employer into a quiet valley.
Moreover
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, the departure of a large office removes customers from the cafés, shops and transport services that depended on them. Central Rabat,
for example
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, lost several thriving lunch venues after two ministries moved away, and,
consequently
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, dozens of small traders closed.
However
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, these problems are matters of planning rather than flaws in the idea itself because good shuttle buses, remote-working days and partnerships with local colleges keep staff content, which makes the drawbacks far less serious than the lasting benefits.
Conclusion
In conclusion, moving a corporation to the countryside costs some urban vitality and risks losing a few employees. Even so, the savings, the healthier working environment and the jobs created in neglected regions make it a change worth making.

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Task response
You answer the question clearly and give a firm view from the start. To make it even stronger, explain more fully how rural jobs help the wider area, not only the company and its staff.
Task response
Your examples help your points. Make sure each example is fully true or clearly stated as an example, and add one short detail about its result.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow: you give benefits first, then problems, then your final view. Keep this clear order in future essays.
Coherence and cohesion
Your links between ideas are clear. In a few places, sentences are long. Split one or two of them into shorter sentences so the main point is even easier to see.
Coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph restates your view well. You could make the final line more direct by linking it back to the question with a short phrase such as 'Therefore, the benefits are greater than the costs.'
Task response
You cover both sides of the move and clearly say that the good points are greater than the bad points.
Task response
The main ideas are useful and well chosen: lower costs, a better daily life for staff, loss of city trade, and staff who may not want to move.
Coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main idea, explanation, and example.
Coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'Nevertheless', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion' guide the reader well.
Your opinion

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