Some people think it is difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

4.5 / 9

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Introduction

Students

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Students'

show examples

interest

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show examples

school

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

less effective nowadays. Some people argue that today are

such

Linking Words

more difficult

to student

Unsplit the infinitive

for students to

show examples

focus

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show examples

classes

due to

Linking Words

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

and artificial intelligence.

This

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essay will discuss why

this

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is happening and some solutions to keep young people's focus during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

time

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hours

show examples

Body paragraph 1

The world

had

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has undergone

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a huge evolution

on the

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in recent

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last

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years, bringing some extraordinary

tool

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tools

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to improve our knowledge

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such

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, such

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Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

AI. An amazing tool that

answer

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answers

show examples

anything in only a few seconds.

However

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, the negative impact on the new generation is a problem that schools and parents are facing nowadays. Students are not learning as was before, with books and article

searchs

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searches

. Creating a dependence on

internet

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tools to do the basics

daily

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of daily

show examples

things,

consequently

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creating a weak generation. A teacher

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for

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, for

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example,

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

the problem now, to identify

wheter

Correct your spelling

whether

the

answer

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answers

show examples

are from the student or from an artificial intelligence.

Body paragraph 2

Indeed

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Indeed,

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those tools are incredibly helpful and might help

childrens

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children

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with some struggles, but not all of them. Parents and schools have the duty to

private

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protect

show examples

in some cases the

internt

Correct your spelling

internet

use, giving them the

logic

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logical

term of thinking and not raising their sons with

this

Linking Words

dependence on

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

as is becoming more easily to see

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show examples

today's society. A way to do that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

putting

Rephrase

to put a

timer and rules for children

use

Verb problem

to use

show examples

the

internet

Use synonyms

and

also

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observing

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to observe

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all

contents

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the content

that they

are following

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show examples

Wrong verb form

Being

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present

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show examples

children life

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children's lives

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is essential for

a health

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healthy

mental growth.

Conclusion

To conclude

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difficults on

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difficulties with

focus are becoming more and more common

on student

Rephrase

in students'

lives,

due to

Linking Words

the easy methods of getting answers from Artificial

Inteligence

Correct your spelling

Intelligence

. Parents and schools are extremely important to monitor

growth

Add an article

the growth

show examples

young

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of young

show examples

people generations

making

Punctuation problem

, making

show examples

them not be totally

dpendent of

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dependent on

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show examples

the future.

bielalves2003

Nov 5, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts in a more full way. Give clear reasons for poor focus, such as phone use, short videos, games, and easy online answers. Then give one matching fix for each reason.

task response

Explain each main idea more. For example, say how AI can stop some students from thinking, reading, or doing work by themselves.

task response

Use a real or clear made-up example. For instance, a student may check messages in class, miss the teacher’s key point, and then find it hard to finish the task.

task response

Keep the focus on attention at school. The point about a ‘weak generation’ is too broad. Say more about class work, study time, and learning instead.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Make the link between ideas clearer by using simple words such as ‘First’, ‘Also’, ‘For example’, ‘As a result’, and ‘Finally’.

coherence and cohesion

Make each body paragraph follow one clear path: main idea, why it happens, example, and result. This will help the reader follow your point.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are hard to follow because the word order is not clear. Write shorter sentences and check who does the action. For example: ‘Teachers now find it hard to know if an answer was written by a student or by AI.’

coherence and cohesion

Use the same key words in a clear way. Choose ‘students’, ‘the internet’, and ‘AI’, rather than changing to unclear phrases like ‘those tools’ or ‘new generation’ too often.

task response

You give a clear main reason: the internet and AI can make it easier for students to get answers without doing enough thinking.

task response

You give useful fixes, including time limits, rules, and help from parents and schools.

coherence and cohesion

The opening tells the reader that you will discuss reasons and fixes, and the ending returns to the main point.

coherence and cohesion

The second body paragraph moves from the problem to ways to help, so the essay has a clear overall order.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

4.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Some people think it is difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that arts such as painting and music cannot affect people’s lives directly. The government should spend money on other things. what is your opinion?

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people's memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this.