IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

8.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often claimed that the lack of affordable housing in major cities is a problem that governments alone can solve.
While
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 I accept that public authorities hold the most powerful tools, I largely disagree with
this
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 view, as private builders and ordinary residents
also
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 play an essential part.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the case for government leadership is not without merit. The most obvious point is land, since only the authorities can release state-owned plots, change planning rules and connect new districts to roads and water. In Morocco,
for instance
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, the Ministry of Housing opened land outside Casablanca and paid for the infrastructure. Within a decade, tens of thousands of affordable flats stood where fields had been. State funding
also
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 protects the poorest, given that commercial developers naturally prefer luxury apartments that earn higher profits.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, a shortage on
this
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 scale cannot be solved by ministries alone. The most important reason is capacity because governments lack the builders, architects and finance needed to construct millions of homes quickly. Private companies,
by contrast
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, can mobilise all three if regulations allow them a fair return. Developers in Tangier,
for example
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, were given tax breaks in exchange for keeping prices low, and they delivered more units in five years than the city council had managed in twenty.
Moreover
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, ordinary citizens matter on a large scale. If one household in ten rented out a spare room or built on an inherited plot, a city of a million people would gain tens of thousands of extra dwellings without a single dirham of taxpayers' money. In my view,
therefore
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, the state should set the framework, and the market and families should supply the bricks.
Conclusion
In conclusion, governments must lead on land and planning, yet they cannot build enough homes by themselves. On balance, the housing crisis will be solved only when public, private and individual efforts work together.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: the state should lead, but it cannot act alone. To make the answer even stronger, explain a little more why the help of people at home can work in all big cities, not only in one place.
task response
Your main points are well developed: land and rules need state action, while firms bring money and skills. You could also say how the state can make sure low-cost homes stay low-cost after they are built.
task response
The examples from Morocco, Casablanca, and Tangier support your ideas well. Make clear that these are real examples, or use more general examples if you are not sure about the facts.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear path: opening view, reasons for state action, reasons for shared action, and a final answer. Keep this strong shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part starts with a clear main idea, and the next sentences explain it well. In the second body part, the move from firms to families is good, but one short link sentence could make this change even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as "Admittedly", "Nevertheless", "Moreover", and "therefore" guide the reader well. Do not add too many more, as the writing already feels natural.
task response
You answer the full question and give a balanced but firm view. The final answer matches the view in the opening.
task response
Your ideas are clear and useful. You show what the state can do and what firms and families can do.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are both clear and directly connected to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well planned, and every main point has an explanation or an example.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • public housing
  • overcrowding
  • affordable housing
  • rent control
  • property market
  • infrastructure development
  • sustainable living
  • rural-urban migration
  • real estate regulations
  • zoning laws
  • bureaucracy
  • gentrification
  • economic disparity
  • housing policy
  • social welfare
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