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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
While
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 some argue about the most important invention. The majority are saying the same thing about that, so let's compare and see what the most important innovations for me are.
Body paragraph 1
The Internet is a really crucial method in our life, but humans are not thinking deeply about ,
for example
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, what we do if we didn't have an air conditionert have an air conditioner , or what we do in the summer season. So, on the one hand, we need to compare well.
Body paragraph 2
Even though we can not live without Wi-Fi nowadays, because the vast bulk of the works are by Wi-Fi and remotely.
Furthermore
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, the contact with your friend ,or with your family , when you are far from them.
Such
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 as, if you travel to a foreign country or to a faraway country, just send a message by Internet
that is
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 one of the advantages of
this
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 invention.
Body paragraph 3
My opinion is that the Internet is one of the most paramount inventions, but for me , after deeply thinking and comparing, I see that the most important thing is the air conditioner, because it is related to what I said and
in addition
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, you can control it , I mean , you can turn it off or turn it on anytime you want.
Conclusion
In conclusion, every invention we have in
this
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 life is main, like if we think deeply, we will see the result is that we can't live without any of the inventions we have now.
Also
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,
this
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 comparison and
this
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 argument would not finish, because everyone thinks from another side.

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task response
Make your main answer clear in the first part. Say that you do not fully agree, because the internet is very important but air conditioning is more important for daily life in hot places.
task response
Give two clear reasons for your view. For example, explain how air conditioning can protect people from very high heat, help sick and old people, and make homes, schools, and work places safe.
task response
Develop each idea more. Do not only say that you can turn an air conditioner on and off; explain why this makes it important.
task response
Use a real or clear example. You could write about a very hot country where people may face danger without cool air in homes or hospitals.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, one paragraph about the internet, one paragraph about air conditioning, then a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one main idea. Keep all the sentences in that paragraph about the same idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully: “However” for a different view, “For example” for an example, and “Therefore” for a result. Avoid repeating “for me” and “deeply thinking” many times.
coherence and cohesion
Write full and clear sentences. For example, change “what we do if we didn't have an air conditioner” to “Without air conditioning, people may find it hard to live and work during very hot summers.”
task response
You give a clear personal view: the internet is very important, but you believe air conditioning is more important.
task response
You include useful points about online work and staying in touch with family and friends in faraway places.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to compare two inventions, which is a good way to answer this question.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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