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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Question:** Many people believe that we are living in the best historical era. Others think that life was better in the past. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some
people
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 believe that the modern
era
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 is the best
period
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 in which to live because of technological advancements and modern conveniences,
whereas
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 others argue that
people
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 enjoyed a more peaceful and healthier lifestyle in the past.
Although
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 both perspectives have compelling arguments, I firmly believe that we are currently living in the best
period
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 in history.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, technological advancement is one of the defining features of the modern
era
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, as it provides numerous conveniences to
people
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. Nowadays, many manual and physically demanding tasks are performed by machines,
while
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 activities that previously required considerable time can now be completed much more quickly.
For instance
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, in the past, overseas journeys by ship often required considerable time and large crews to operate the vessels.
Furthermore
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, travelling between continents could take several weeks or even months.
However
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, modern transportation technology allows
people
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 to travel between continents comfortably within a matter of hours.
Therefore
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, technological advancements have made the modern
era
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 considerably more convenient than previous historical periods.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, those who prefer earlier historical periods believe that life was simpler and more peaceful in the past.
This
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 is because, unlike
people
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 today, individuals in the past were generally less concerned about acquiring material possessions.
Instead
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, they placed greater importance on human relationships, cultural traditions and spirituality, which may have contributed to a greater sense of peace and contentment.
For example
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, extended families often lived together and provided one another with emotional and practical support,
whereas
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 modern lifestyles can make it more difficult for relatives to maintain close relationships.
Hence
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, supporters of
this
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 perspective consider the past a better
period
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 in which to live because of its simpler lifestyle and stronger community relationships.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
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 both perspectives have their own merits, I believe that the modern
era
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 is a better
period
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 in which to live because technological advancements have made everyday life more convenient and accessible.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear opinion. To make your view even stronger, explain why the good sides of modern life are more important than the calm life some people had in the past.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but the view about the past is a little general. Add one more clear reason or a more real example, such as less work stress or more time with family.
task response
The travel example supports the modern-life view well. You could also mention health care, safe water, or fast contact to show that modern life is better in more than one way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a very clear plan: an opening, one paragraph for each view, and an ending. Keep using this simple structure.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “To conclude”, help the reader follow your ideas. Try not to use too many set link words; sometimes a clear first sentence is enough.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph repeats “considerable time” and repeats the idea of long travel. Make it shorter so each sentence adds a new point.
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, briefly bring back the past view before you state your own view. This would make the final comparison feel more complete.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain why some people like modern life, why others prefer the past, and you clearly state your own view.
task response
The example of travel by ship and by plane is clear and closely linked to your main point about ease and speed.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea and stays on that idea, so the essay is easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
The opening clearly shows both sides and your own view, and the ending matches that view.
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