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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is contended that soft
skills
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, including teamwork and problem solving, should be
emphasized
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emphasised
show examples
 in the education system, rather than hard
skills
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,
such
Linking Words
 as traditional academic
sujects
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subjects
. I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
While
Linking Words
 maintaining a solid foundation in
the
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apply
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traditional academics is necessary,
students
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 should devote more time to
learn
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learning
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 life
skills
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.
Body paragraph 1
Advancement
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Advancements
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 in technology,
such
Linking Words
 as AI, make it easier to find academic information.
Therefore
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, having academic knowledge is less valuable,
rather
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apply
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how to cooperate and manage a team, using knowledge and
information
Punctuation problem
information,
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 is getting more important. In
school
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,
for example
Linking Words
,
students
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 who engage in group projects
,
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apply
show examples
 need to collaborate with team members and discuss ideas to reach a conclusion, using data or insight provided by AI.
This
Linking Words
 experience through team activities cultivates
students
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' cooperative skillsets, which will be significantly helpful when they start working.
Body paragraph 2
Problem-solving
skills
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 are not developed overnight. They require plenty of practice,
such
Linking Words
 as tackling
a
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apply
show examples
various problems and learning through trial and error. In
school
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,
for instance
Linking Words
,
students
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 have numerous types of problems, e.g., managing a budget in a
school
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 festival, running a
sport
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sports
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 club, and conflicts among individuals.
School
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,
therefore
Linking Words
, is an ideal place to provide opportunities to solve
problem
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problems
show examples
, through which
students
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 can develop these
avilities
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abilities
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I largely agree with focusing
teamwork
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on teamwork
show examples
skills
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 and problem-solving abilities in
school
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.
Although
Linking Words
 the basic academic knowledge should be important,
a
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apply
show examples
practical experience and activities
on
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related to
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this
Linking Words
 should be more underscored.

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task response
Make your main view more exact. You say life skills should get more time, but also say school needs a strong base in school subjects. State clearly how far you agree and keep this same view in each body part.
task response
Explain more fully why school subjects are still needed. For example, maths, reading, and science give students the facts and tools they need before they can use life skills well.
task response
Develop the AI point with care. AI can help people find facts, but students still need school knowledge to check if the facts are right and to use them well.
task response
Make examples more real and direct. In the school event example, say what problem students face, what they do together, and what skill they learn from it.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. To make the flow stronger, begin each body part with one clear main idea and then give one well-linked example.
coherence and cohesion
Use links that show the relation between ideas more clearly. For example, use “As a result” after a cause, “However” for the need for school subjects, and “For this reason” before your final point.
coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same when possible. You use “soft skills”, “life skills”, “teamwork skills”, and “cooperative skillsets”. Choose one or two simple terms so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid placing many ideas in one sentence. Split long sentences into two short sentences, especially in the first body part, so each step of the argument is easy to follow.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear overall view: life skills should have more attention, while basic school learning should remain.
task response
Your examples of group work, school events, clubs, and conflict show that you understand how schools can teach useful life skills.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow. The first main part is about teamwork, and the second is about solving problems.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well, and the ending returns to your main view.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prioritize
  • Life skills
  • Traditional academics
  • Teamwork
  • Problem-solving
  • Holistic education
  • Real-world challenges
  • Soft skills
  • Intellectual growth
  • Balanced education
  • Comprehensive skill set
  • Core subjects
  • Vocational training
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