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Writing Samples
Band 4

Population are growing in cities rapidly. What are the effects of it. What solution can you give to maintain a good quality of life in urban cities.

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Introduction
The issue of
growing of the
Correct word order
the rapid growth of the population in cities
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in
cities
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 rapidly has become a significant concern in recent years. It is widely believed that it affects the quality of life in urban
cities
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.
This
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 essay explores the causes of
this
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 problem and suggests possible solutions.
Body paragraph 1
One major effect is that a lot of foreign
people
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 are living in the
cities
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, so they cause congestion on several sites.
For instance
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, if a man travels to another town, he might suffer from finding an apartment to live in because a huge number of foreign
people
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 live
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these apartments. Another main effect is that individuals may suffer from earning jobs
due to
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 a high
population
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 density.
Furthermore
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,
growing
Replace the word
the growth
 of
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population
Add an article
the population
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 in
cities
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 not only
cause reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the opportunities
of
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for
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 jobs, but it can
also
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 cause diseases to
speard
Correct your spelling
spread
 quickly.
Body paragraph 2
One solution that can maintain a good quality of life in urban
cities
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 is that the government should ban foreign
people
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 from living
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
long time, which would help by reducing the number of
population
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. Meanwhile, the authority can expand the distance of
his
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 country, so that individuals can feel comfortable.
Furthermore
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, expanding the distance of the country not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 individuals to feel comfortable, but it can
also
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 allow the authority to build new facilities.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, growing the
population
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 in
cities
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 rapidly is a pressing issue. By expanding the distance of the country and
banding the
Rephrase
banning
 foreign
people
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to live
Rephrase
from living for
 a long time, we can address the root causes and work towards a better outcome.

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Task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. Explain the effects of fast city growth, then give clear ways to keep life good in cities.
Task response
Use ideas that fit the topic. Do not focus on foreign people as the main cause. City growth can happen because people move from towns and because more children are born.
Task response
Give stronger effects, such as high house prices, traffic, long travel time, fewer jobs, and more pressure on schools and hospitals.
Task response
Make the solutions real and fair. For example, build low-cost homes, add buses and trains, make more jobs outside big cities, and build more schools and hospitals.
Task response
Explain each solution with a clear result. For example, better public travel can cut traffic and make daily trips faster.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and an ending. Keep this clear plan: one body part for effects and one body part for solutions.
Coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one main idea. Then add an explanation and one example. This will make your writing easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care, such as “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “For example”. Make sure the next sentence clearly follows the one before it.
Coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are not clear, such as “expand the distance of his country”. Say what you mean in a simple way, for example: “build new towns outside the city” or “make the city area larger”.
Coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same point about foreign people. Add different ideas and connect them in a clear order.
Task response
You discuss both effects and solutions, so your essay stays on the main topic.
Task response
You include examples of housing, jobs, and the fast spread of disease. These are useful areas to discuss.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning and ending.
Coherence and cohesion
You use paragraph breaks and some linking phrases, such as “For instance”, “Furthermore”, and “To sum up”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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