Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

6.5 / 9

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Introduction

Nowadays,an increasing number of

children

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spend a considerable amount of their free

time

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watching television rather than engaging in physical

activities

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. I am inclined to believe that the primary reason for

this

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trend is easy access to technology.

This

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essay will discuss the causes of

this

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and suggest a solution.

Body paragraph 1

The primary reason for

this

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is the widespread availability of technological devices

such

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as smartphones

Correct word choice

and

show examples

tablets.They can access various forms of entertainment

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

without the need to leave their home.Another reason for

this

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upward trend is that the amount of

time

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and effort required to watch TV is very little.

Therefore

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,it can be a go-to activity for them in terms of entertaining purposes, leading them to spend less

time

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in outdoor

activities

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For instance

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children

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who have access to tablets at an early age may develop a habit of watching videos on YouTube whenever they feel bored.

Body paragraph 2

However

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,parents should spend their

time

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with their

children

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and encourage them to take part in outdoor

activities

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in order to tackle

this

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problem.

Although

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it can be easily done by taking them to parks and telling them to have fun with other

children

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.Setting daily limits on their smartphones and television can

also

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provide another solution since they tend to spend excessive

time

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behind screens.

Conclusion

Taking all

this

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into account, a numerous amount of

children

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spend their spare

time

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in a digital environment more than usual.

Although

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this

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issue can be addressed if parents instil their

children

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with a sense of other types of entertainment ,

such

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as participating in outdoor

activities

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and set reasonable limits on screen

time

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ieltswriting333

Nov 12, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts in full. You explain why children watch more TV, but add more about why they do less active and creative things. For example, say that some parents are busy, parks may be far away, or art and sports may cost money.

task response

Make your main cause more exact. TV is easy to use, but phones and tablets are not always the same as TV. You can say that screens give children quick and endless shows, games, and videos.

task response

Give one clear example for each main idea. Your YouTube example is useful. Add an example of a parent taking a child to a sports club, a park, or an art class.

task response

Develop the methods more. Explain how screen-time rules work: parents can set a fixed time, keep devices out of bedrooms, and plan a family activity after school.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Keep this order, but make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more smoothly. Do not begin too many sentences with "Another reason", "Therefore", or "Although". Use simple links such as "also", "because", "as a result", and "for example".

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are not complete or are joined with a comma. Write: "They can access many kinds of entertainment without leaving home." Do not write: "smartphones, tablets.They can access..."

coherence and cohesion

Make the last paragraph shorter and clearer. Restate the causes and give the two best methods. Avoid unclear phrases such as "more than usual" and "a sense of other types of entertainment".

task response

You address both the reasons for the problem and ways to deal with it.

task response

The example of children watching YouTube when bored is clear and fits your point.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear overall shape: introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your use of paragraphing helps the reader follow your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries formal exams are used to asses students’ ability and judge the success of their education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using formal exams to assess students’ abilities.

Many countries have compaulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possible for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.