Question:** In many countries, a prison sentence is considered as the best way to decrease crime. However, education is often argued as a more effective way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
In some countries,
imprisonment
Use synonyms
is considered the most effective way to reduce
crime
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, with offenders receiving sentences
according to
Linking Words
the severity of their offences.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, others believe that criminals should be given educational opportunities to improve their lives and reintegrate into society.
Although
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both approaches have their merits, I firmly believe that
education
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is a more effective long-term solution to reducing
crime
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rates.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, prison sentences can create fear among the public and discourage
individuals
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from committing crimes.
This
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is because
imprisonment
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results in a significant loss of personal freedom, as offenders are required to spend a considerable period of time away from their families and society.
Furthermore
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, they have limited independence and must follow strict rules throughout their sentences.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the prospect of losing their freedom and spending years in prison may discourage
individuals
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from engaging in criminal activities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
imprisonment
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can act as a deterrent and potentially reduce the
crime
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rate.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
education
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plays a crucial role in reducing
crime
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rates in society.
This
Linking Words
is because some
individuals
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engage in criminal activities
due to
Linking Words
financial difficulties and a lack of employment opportunities. If these
individuals
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receive proper
education
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and vocational training, they may acquire the skills needed to secure employment.
As a result
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, they can become financially independent without resorting to illegal activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
education
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helps
individuals
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develop ethical awareness and understand the importance of moral values. It enables them to make responsible decisions and understand the consequences of their actions.
Hence
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,
education
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can address some of the underlying causes of criminal behaviour and encourage
individuals
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to choose a more positive path in life.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
imprisonment
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can deter
individuals
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from committing crimes by making them aware of the consequences, I believe that
education
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is a more effective long-term solution because it addresses some of the underlying causes of criminal behaviour and encourages
individuals
Use synonyms
to make responsible decisions.

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Task response
You answer all parts of the question. To make your view even stronger, add one clear real-life example, such as job training in prison helping people find work after they leave.
Task response
Your main ideas are clear: prison may stop some people through fear, while education may deal with the causes of crime. You could also say that prison is still needed for people who are a danger to others.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow. Each body part has one main idea, and your last part clearly repeats your view.
Coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “On the one hand”, “Furthermore”, “As a result”, and “To conclude”. Try not to use “As a result” too often. In some places, use “Therefore” or join the ideas in one sentence instead.
Coherence and cohesion
The second body part has several good points about education. You could make it even clearer by putting job skills and moral learning into two short parts, with a clear link between them.
Task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view through the whole essay.
Task response
Both sides are discussed fairly, and your reasons are linked well to crime.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a strong shape: an opening, two clear body parts, and a closing.
Coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a natural order, so the reader can understand your point without difficulty.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • recidivism
  • retribution
  • rehabilitation
  • root causes
  • lawful employment
  • societal values
  • inclination
  • recidivism
  • awareness
  • immediate reduction
  • long-term solution
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