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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a sea turtle. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The life cycle of a sea turtle

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The diagram below shows the life cycle of a sea turtle. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The life cycle of a sea turtle
The given diagram depicts the sea
turtles cycle of life
Correct word order
turtle's life cycle
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the stages of the
turteles
Correct your spelling
turtle's
 development can be
sepparated in
Rephrase
separated into
 three main groups of early development in the
see
Use the right word
sea
show examples
, adult life and the rapeating of reproduction. The start of the
animals
Check wording
animal's
show examples
 life is the egg nest, where the
soon to be turtules
Correct your spelling
soon-to-be turtles
 spend 6 to 8 weeks. After the hatchling
happens
Punctuation problem
happens,
show examples
 the following 3
years
Use synonyms
 are spent as oceanic juveniles. As the turtles are
growing
Punctuation problem
growing,
show examples
 they are moving towards the coast and are called coastal juveniles for 5 more
years
Use synonyms
. The transitions
happens
Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
show examples
,
turtels
Correct your spelling
turtles
 step out of the water and become sub-adults. The following 5
years
Use synonyms
 are
spet
Correct your spelling
spent
 in
this
Linking Words
 stage before being considered adults.
This
Linking Words
 transition is less
noticible
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 in comparison to the past ones, since the place of habitat does not change.
While
Linking Words
 being adults for 20 plus
Use synonyms
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 the
turtules
Correct your spelling
turtles
 continue their reproduction cycle. The migration and
breading
Use the right word
breeding
show examples
 takes around two months before the species make nests and lay eggs. When the eggs are
layed
Correct your spelling
laid,
 the cycle repeats itself.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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