IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Introduction
The issue of
deforestation
Use synonyms
 caused by human activity has become a significant concern in recent years. It is widely believed that it might affect many generations in the future.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem and
suggests
Wrong verb form
suggest
show examples
 possible solutions.
Body paragraph 1
On
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 main
cause
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation
Use synonyms
 is that many individuals plan to build a new building or cabin.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a man wants to build
cabin
Add an article
a cabin
show examples
 to meet with his friends in the middle of the forest, he will start to
deforest
Use synonyms
. Another factor is that the authority wants to build a nature reserve for endangered animals, so they will
deforest
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, which is a
nagative
Correct your spelling
negative
 plan for the
environments
Check wording
environment
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a lack of awareness of
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 impacts that
deforestation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cause it
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
One solution is that the government should
be banned the
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
deforestation
Use synonyms
, and introduce
requirnment
Correct your spelling
requirement
 laws, so the government can confirm that the population cannot
deforest
Use synonyms
. Another possible solution is that schools and universities should present the harmful effects that deforestations make it for our environment, which would help by spreading the awareness of
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 impacts of
deforestation
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, and reduce the number of individuals who
deforest
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.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
,
deforestation
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 caused by human activity is a pressing issue. By banning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation
Use synonyms
 and introducing laws, and informing
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation about
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 impacts that
deforestation
Use synonyms
 can
cause
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, we can address the root
cause
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 and work towards a better outcome.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Focus on what people and governments can do to stop tree loss, rather than spending much time on causes.
task response
Develop each main idea. Explain how strong laws, checks, and fines can stop illegal cutting. Then explain how school lessons and public talks can change people’s actions.
task response
Use more true and clear examples. Building a cabin is possible, but it is not a main cause in many places. You could write about farms, roads, wood, and large building work.
task response
Check the idea about a nature reserve. A reserve usually protects land and animals, so it is not normally a reason to cut down trees. Say that new roads or other building work may harm forest land instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, two body parts, and an ending. Make the order stronger: give one solution in each body paragraph, then explain it and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words, but do not join too many ideas in one long sentence. Try: “First,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “Finally.”
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main point. The first body paragraph talks about causes, while the task asks for solutions. Change this paragraph to a solution paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear words for people and groups. For example, write “the government,” “local people,” or “building companies” instead of using “they” when the reader may not know who “they” means.
task response
You give two useful ways to help: laws from the government and learning in schools and universities.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the ending returns to the main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraph breaks and linking words such as “For instance,” “In addition,” and “To sum up,” which helps the reader follow your writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • sustainable living
  • ecosystem balance
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • illegal logging
  • land clearing
  • afforestation
  • reforestation
  • agroforestry
  • conservation efforts
  • economic incentives
  • technological innovations
  • forest management
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