Experts say that older people stay healthy when they spend time with others.nowadays older people experience loneliness and poor health conditions.what are the causes of this and suggest some solutions

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Introduction

The

Correct pronoun usage

There

show examples

is no doubt that

olders

Check wording

older people

show examples

live

healthy

Replace the word

healthily

the

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

pass their

time

Use synonyms

with others

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

senior citizens are

backbone

Add an article

the backbone

show examples

of the country. Nowadays, we are

enrich

Wrong verb form

enriched

show examples

with culture and heritage

due to

Linking Words

older humankind.

Todays, Sadly

Correct word order

Today, sadly,

show examples

seniors are

experincing

Correct your spelling

experiencing

health issues and depression. There are various reasons behind

this

Linking Words

phenonmenon

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

Which,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

I will discuss

Correct pronoun usage

this in

show examples

the following paragraphs and provide concrete remedies to overcome

this

Linking Words

problem.

Body paragraph 1

At the

ouset

Correct your spelling

outset

, the main

issue

Use synonyms

behind

this

Linking Words

case is that everyone is busy in their life. No one

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

free

time

Use synonyms

to spend with their family and grandparents. To illustrate, humans are engaged in their office work owing to competition in

this

Linking Words

generation. Folks want to get

promotion

Add an article

a promotion

show examples

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

they are not only doing extra

had

Correct word choice

hard

show examples

work but

also

Linking Words

spending more

time

Use synonyms

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, in

show examples

contrast

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

to their home. Another point is that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

Techonology have incline in every part of the world. Humans are glued to their phones and smart devices. They always pass their whole day on the

phone

Punctuation problem

phone,

show examples

where some watch games and

vidoes

Correct your spelling

videos,

and others make content

for getting

Wrong verb form

to get

show examples

more followers and likes. So they don't have

time

Use synonyms

to spend with seniors

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they feel alone and

health

Verb problem

have health

show examples

issues.

For instance

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

friend Mehak

stay

Correct subject-verb agreement

stays

show examples

busy with her phone

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

she

don't

Correct subject-verb agreement

doesn't

show examples

sit with her granny for a minute.

Body paragraph 2

There are some solutions which can

adresss

Correct your spelling

address

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should

organize

Change the spelling

organise

show examples

awareness

camp

Check wording

camps

show examples

for

new

Add an article

the new

show examples

genration

Correct your spelling

generation

to spend golden hours with their seniors and tell them how it can help them to stay happy. How their small memories can encourage their

well being

Correct your spelling

well-being

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

youtubers

Capitalize the proper name

YouTubers

show examples

should make some videos about

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

so everyone can

aware

Verb problem

be aware

show examples

about

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

Thus

Linking Words

, it could help

are

Correct determiner usage

our

show examples

old people to stay young and happy.

Conclusion

To conclude

Linking Words

, it can be said that there are so many reasons for

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we can overcome these problems

Change preposition

with

show examples

some solutions. Olders are our roots. They play an

essiental

Correct your spelling

essential

role in our community.

jaspreetchahal7899

Nov 15, 2026

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task response

You answer both parts: causes and solutions. However, make each idea more clear. Explain more fully how being busy at work and using phones can make older people feel alone and become less healthy.

task response

Give stronger solutions. For example, families can set one night each week to eat or talk with older family members. Local groups can run walks, games, and health visits for older people.

task response

Your example about Mehak and her granny is linked to the topic, but it is very short. Say what happened to the granny and how more time together could help.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body paragraphs, and ending. Keep one main idea in each paragraph: work in one paragraph, phone use in another, and solutions in the next.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple linking words more carefully, such as “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”. Do not join very long ideas in one sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Some lines are hard to follow because the words do not fit well together. For example, change “so they don't have time to spend with seniors and they feel alone and health issues” to “As a result, older people may feel lonely and have health problems.”}],

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

4.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Experts say that older people stay healthy when they spend time with others.nowadays older people experience loneliness and poor health conditions.what are the causes of this and suggest some solutions

People try new dangerous sports such as sky-diving or rock climbing. Should such sports be banned?

Some people think that government should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that schools should remove art classes and focus on more important subjects such as mathematics and science. Do the advantages of cutting art classes outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?