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Writing Samples
Band 7

Should we invent a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication? Do you think there are more benefits or more problems with it? Explain.

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Introduction
In
this
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 contemporary era, experts debate whether it is necessary to create a universal
language
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 to facilitate global communication. I firmly believe that it is not essential to invent a new common
language
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due to
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 the advancements that have occurred in artificial intelligence (AI).
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, several
individuals
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 are convinced that
people
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 from diverse cultures do not require a common
language
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 to interact with each other because of the improvements of AI. To illustrate, AI has the ability to translate all languages around the world, thereby facilitating communication among
individuals
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 with various backgrounds.
For instance
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, several students in Turkey rely significantly on ChatGPT to have a joyful and beneficial conversation with foreign instructors and learners.
Consequently
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,
due to
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 the tremendous achievement in AI, many
people
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 from different civilisations can effortlessly interact with each other, so they do not need to learn a new
language
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 to perform that.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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, numerous
individuals
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 think that pushing
people
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 to acquire a new
language
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 could have detrimental outcomes. To explain, there are many
individuals
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 who do not prefer to learn a new
language
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 because it is significantly challenging for them.
For example
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, the elderly in Syria usually tend to utilise Google Translate
instead
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 of learning a particular
language
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 to talk with other foreign
people
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.
Thus
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, creating a new
language
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 for
individuals
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 to give them an opportunity to interact with each other will be substantially difficult for them.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, as mentioned in
this
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 essay, because of the improvements that have been carried out in AI, most
individuals
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 are capable of talking to each other easily.
Furthermore
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, generating a new
language
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 could certainly be hard for
people
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 to learn. I am convinced that AI is more effective in increasing social communication among
individuals
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 from various ethnicities.

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task response
State your main answer more fully: say that there are more problems than benefits, not only that a new language is not needed.
task response
Talk about both sides of the question. You explain problems well, but add one possible good point, such as easier direct talks without a phone or app.
task response
Develop the main ideas more. Explain why AI may not work all the time, for example when there is no internet, then show why this still makes a new language hard to use.
task response
Use examples that clearly prove the point. The examples of students and older people are useful, but explain what happens in the talk and why the new language would be hard for them.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Make the link between each point and your main answer even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer repeated words such as "individuals," "new language," and "interact." Use simple changes like people, common language, talk, and speak.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long. Split them into two shorter sentences so the main idea is easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid link words that do not fit the idea. For example, use "as a result" only when the next sentence is a direct result of the one before it.
task response
You give a clear view from the start and keep the same view through the essay.
task response
Your ideas are on topic: AI can help people talk, and learning a new language can be hard.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each body part has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear signposts such as "To begin with," "In addition," and "To sum up."
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international communication
  • mutual understanding
  • language barriers
  • foster inclusivity
  • equal opportunities
  • global forums
  • simplify learning
  • resource-intensive
  • cultural erosion
  • linguistic diversity
  • emotional attachment
  • cultural attachment
  • achieving proficiency
  • access to education
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