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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills at school, while others think academic subjects should remain the main priority. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that academic subjects should remain the main priority. I believe that both are essential for
students
Use synonyms
' development and that a balance should be maintained between them.
Body paragraph 1
Practical skills play an important role in preparing
students
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 for their
future
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.
This
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 is because they can help
students
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 apply their knowledge.
For example
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, schools can give
students
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 a monthly budgeting activity. During
this
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 activity,
students
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 can allocate money for basic needs and set aside some for the
future
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.
As a result
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,
students
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 can become more responsible when making financial decisions.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, academic knowledge can be beneficial.
This
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 is because it can help
students
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 gain a deep understanding of subjects.
For instance
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,
students
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 who study physics can learn fundamental principles that may help them before entering the workplace.
As a result
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,
students
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 can understand and solve complex problems more effectively in their
future
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 careers.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both approaches help
students
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 prepare for employment. I believe that maintaining a balance between academic knowledge and practical skills is useful for
students
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'
future
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 careers.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why a school should give time to both. You could say how much time each side should have, or how the two can work together.
task response
Your examples are clear, but they are quite general. Add one more real example for each main idea. For example, name skills such as cooking, first aid, or using a bank app, and show how they help in daily life or work.
task response
The point about physics is good, but it needs a closer link to the main question. Explain why learning physics at school is important even for students who may not use it in every job.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one paragraph for each view, and an ending. Keep this clear plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of links between ideas. You use 'This is because', 'For example', and 'As a result' well, but some are used in the same way. You can also use 'In addition', 'However', 'For this reason', and 'At the same time'.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence of each body paragraph show more clearly how it supports your main view. This will make the ideas flow better from one paragraph to the next.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: practical skills, academic subjects, and your own opinion.
task response
The budgeting example is relevant and easy to understand. It shows how practical learning can help students make better choices.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state that both types of learning are important.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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