IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience

#say #countries #food #education
Nowadays poor
nations
 need
s
Add an article
the
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upport of the
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
countries
,
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apply
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 so that
g
Add an article
the
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overnment of poor
countries
 can provide all the basic necessities of the lives to their citizens. In poor
countries
Add a comma
,
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the most basic issues are poverty, nutrition, uneducated people, unemployment and commerce. I totally in
favor
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favour
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 of
this
 topic and will share my views about it. Richest
countries
 are strong enough to provide the basic
facilities
 to the poor
nations
.
For example
, Africa is one of the developing
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
, the people of that
country
 don’t have proper health
facilities
, employment and trade. The government of that
country
 seek help from
r
Add an article
the
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ichest
country
 and due to
this
 that nation has improved now.
Although
, there
is
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are
show examples
 not good health
facilities
 are available, unemployment and poverty
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 even present but it has been changed a lot if we compare it with
p
Add an article
the
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ast.
Furthermore
, richest
countries
 provide loans to
that
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those
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 poor
countries
 if needed; so the government can plan new strategies
Verify preposition usage
on
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how to improve their
country
’s economy.
Moreover
, it is very important for a
country
 who borrow a sum of money from
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 richest
countries
 they should have to return it on time because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 they will gain trust from them and if any problem will initiate they will be always there to help. In my opinion, if
r
Add an article
the
show examples
ichest
countries
 are providing support to the poor
nations
,
then
 it is a very big opportunity for
that
Change the determiner
those
show examples
nations
 to improve their economy and provide better
facilities
 to their citizens
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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