Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, we can see science everywhere around us. New
inventions
make the
lives
of
the
Remove the article
apply

It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

show examples
people
easier. On
o
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word other. Consider adding the article.

show examples
ther hand
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On other hand. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
doctors
are really important persons for us.
Doctors
are the person who
help
Change the verb form
helps

The plural verb help does not appear to agree with the singular subject the person. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
us to get well when we become sick. They save our
lives
. In my opinion,
inventions
and
doctors
are incomparable both have different roles in our
lives
.
Lots
of
inventions
have become
v
Add an article
a

The noun phrase very important part seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ery important part of our
lives
.
For example
,
aero planes
Correct your spelling
aeroplanes

The word aero planes seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
by which we can travel and reach to other countries earlier as compare to
another
Change the determiner
other

The determiner another may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
means of transportation. Computers
which
Delete the pronoun
apply

The pronoun which may be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
are the most amazing invention. We are totally now become dependent on computers, it has
lots
of benefits and is useful in many ways. In offices, shopping malls, schools and homes,
people
use computers to save
lots
of data, documents, calculations and doing assignments.
Furthermore
,
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones

The word smart phones seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
are
also
one of the most important
inventions
for peoples.
People
found it more convenient for them in carrying as well as
lots
of applications are available due to which they can contact
with
Verify preposition usage
apply

It appears that the preposition with may be unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

show examples
their family, relatives and friends.
Moreover
, there are
lots
of things that are invented by inventors that had made
house work
Correct your spelling
housework

The word house work seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
also
easy
for example
, home appliances, washing machines, refrigerators etc. On
o
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word other. Consider adding the article.

show examples
ther hand
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On other hand. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
doctors
are most knowledgeable persons that can treat different diseases.
Doctors
study a lot and always want to get rid of illness from a patient. If there will be no
doctors
then
nobody can protect the sick
people
and
m
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word mortality. Consider adding the article.

show examples
ortality rate increase extremely. There are
lots
of procedures
also
done to protect
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
lives
.
Doctors
perform different screening and diagnose
d
Add an article
the

The noun phrase disease seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
isease properly. In conclusion, both have different roles and values in our
lives
, without doctor’s human beings cannot survive
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily

The adjective healthy is modifying survive instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

show examples
or we can say that no one can be there to protect from illnesses. Obviously, without inventors
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase without inventors. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
new
inventions
cannot take place and there would be no new unique discovery
people
would be able to see.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: