IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

What are the advantages of maternity leave? Which side for you feel outweighs the other.

#maternity #side
In
this
 21st century, companies are giving more importance to human power compared to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
old age. The owner of the
organization
 is now aware that to
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 their business and keep running
b
Add an article
a
the
show examples
usiness smoothly, skilled people are the
top most
Correct your spelling
topmost
show examples
 need with
l
Add an article
a
show examples
ong term commitment. To
coqure
Correct your spelling
conquer
this
, nowadays, companies are offering a number of
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 to their employees
such
 as paid leaves in the pregnancy emergency. I honestly feel
this
 is the best way to encourage lady skilled workers to
work
 for any
organization
. At cons side, while working in the pregnancy
time
, the employee can not perform well compared to the normal days. During the maternity, girls are facing more physical pain and they require to be more
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 about their child at the
time
 of handling
work
 pressure which will result
into
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
l
Add an article
the
show examples
ow performance of
work
.
Moreover
, in many countries, now, it is a law to provide maternity leave to girls and can not ask to leave the job in
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 particular days. In
this
 situation, to fill the human power needs companies are now hiring employees on the contract basis which causes extra financial loss to the
organization
. While
at
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another side, There are several
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 to the company, staff and to the society itself. If the
organization
 thinks about workers and provide them
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 help in the form of leaves,
then
 workers will
definitaley
Correct your spelling
definitely
 increase their dedication towards
c
Add an article
the
show examples
ompany and continuing their service to the firm for
l
Change the article
a
show examples
ong
time
. Long term commitment of employees is a great
benifitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to the company as they do not need to more worried about
h
Add an article
the
show examples
iring process. The organisation can save their
time
 and hiring resources. To conclude
this
, it is firmly clear that to grow business one needs skill candidates who can
work
l
Change the article
a
show examples
ong
time
 and effectively. The
materinity
Correct your spelling
maternity
 leaves and other necessary
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 are
k
Add an article
a
show examples
ey
requirement
Change the noun form
requirements
show examples
 to have
this
 type of highly skilled people on the board.
Submitted by ishann433 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: