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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #cooperation #team #skills
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While some people believe that competitiveness should be instilled in the minds of the children in
school
, others
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 and cooperation. In my opinion, the latter notion of imbibing
team
 spirit is more essential. Whether or not a child at
school
 succeeds in the field of academics, sports or co-curricular activities, there is
this
 strong sense of rivalry and competition which is inculcated right from the beginning of
school
 life. While some argue that
this
 is healthy and makes a student more confident, there are proponents who find
this
 harmful . The
school
 performance is gauged and compared, putting constant pressure in their young minds.
For instance
, a child who does fairly well in his music test, conducted at a private class, performs poorly at
school
 while competing with his peers.
In contrast
, there are plenty of group and
team
 activities arranged in schools which provide avenues to learn together and share ideas that are more impactful. Not only do the children learn group dynamics and work towards some common goals,
Add the word(s)
but
show examples
they
also
 create a niche for themselves. The
school
 music bands,
where in
Correct your spelling
wherein
show examples
 the members work in unison and have a winning ethos is to reckon with, siting as one of the best examples. The cleanliness drive initiatives taken up and sponsored by some of the schools , find a large number of students as volunteers who contribute in cleaning up of areas and public spaces
such
 as beaches and in doing so learn civic manners and cooperation. To conclude,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 more important
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the
school
 children are encouraged to develop a sound
team
 spirit and ethics than putting them through a series of competitions.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strive
  • healthy competition
  • real-world competition
  • excessive
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • win-at-all-costs
  • detrimental
  • character development
  • empathy
  • communication skills
  • group efforts
  • individual talents
  • self-reliance
  • independence
  • balanced approach
  • competitive learning environments
  • cooperative learning environments
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