IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is suggested that all the young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people?

#adults #period #work #people #community
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I definitely agree with the perspective that every youngster should expose to carry out community
work
Use synonyms
, for a compulsory period of time. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 aspect bundles with more benefits, in terms of providing the young adults a platform to cultivate essential social norms and understand the reality of the
society
Use synonyms
 that they are going to live.
This
Linking Words
 period would be a definite incentive for young blood to understand the disparities in the
society
Use synonyms
 and
work
Use synonyms
 on alleviating the same.
For example
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, the community consists of varieties of income levels. In developing countries, it always a 20% of super rich and an 80% of low and middle income earners. Unfortunately, most of the young children belongs to these super rich families, unaware about the existence of people who need help in economically and socially. Community development activities open a door for a critical social study lesson for those young children; which is invariably
drive
Suggestion
driven
 them towards creating a fair
society
Use synonyms
 when they grow up. Today young generation going to be the leaders of tomorrow's world. Thereby,
such
Linking Words
 comprehensive knowledge and understanding towards the
society
Use synonyms
, would assist them designing the best suitable program to eradicate poverty and disparity in distribution of resources.
In addition
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 to that,
such
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 time would instill the
essencial
absolutely necessary; vitally necessary
essential
 civil attributes in youngsters.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they become more sensitive about people with special needs,
such
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 as older people, children and differently able people. What is more, they learn and begin to
work
Use synonyms
 on social responsibilities.
For instance
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, payment of taxes is an inherent social responsibility of a civilian, as part of
such
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 money is being utilised
for
Suggestion
in
 welfare
work
Use synonyms
 by the government.
This
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 understanding directs individual avoid paying taxes or criticising the tax system. To
coclude
decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion
conclude
, even though, the unpaid
peiod
an amount of time
period
 of
work
Use synonyms
 might
rise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
 the economic pressure to a certain extent,
on the other hand
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,
this
Linking Words
 time span blesses them with life long advantages.
Submitted by manilanishadi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • skill development
  • soft skills
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • leadership
  • social responsibility
  • community engagement
  • empathy
  • civic duty
  • networking opportunities
  • volunteering
  • personal growth
  • confidence
  • financial compensation
  • economic drawbacks
  • exploitation
  • free labor
  • fair exchange
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