Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

How powerful

money

is in the 21st century! Being wealthy in modern life is definitely what

humans

Suggestion

human

beings are looking for. There are plenty of things can be done by using cash

such

as make a payment, buy some stuff, or do charity.

However

, sometimes

money

is not a solution to help people. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement and do believe that life still has another thing more valuable which known as

love

. Having a lot of

money

nowadays is everyone's dream. Recently, most people define people through the question of how

rich they

Accept comma addition

rich, they

are

instead

of looking at their personality or their morals. Sadly, it particularly happens to the young generation. The more

money

you have, the more friends you have too. No one in the world likes to be alone and lives without support from others. Unfortunately, people tend to

love

to make friends with wealth rather than the poor. Cash can give people everything. In fact, humans cannot live without

money

. Buying cars, buying properties or go shopping, everything could not be done if there is no

money

. In some countries

such

as Vietnam, Myanmar or China,

money

can buy you a position too.

That is

how cash works

Suggestion

present.

However

money

also

can be used in a good situation;

for example

, charity. Many donations have been done by wealthy people around the world,

such

as Bill Gate. Honestly, most of the charities

are really work

Suggestion

are really working

really work

have really worked

and it helps a lot of unlucky people around the world. Sometimes, the best solution to help people is not

money

even though it can buy humans a variety of things. Have you ever thought or seek about what do people need

you to support before

Suggestion

to support you before

you assume only

money

can help? Most of the time, people run to the others do not mean they need economic supporting. What they expect from us is our sympathy, listening, or more over is a person that they can trust to share about their feelings. The more bad feelings they hold, the more they feel hurt.

Money

cannot solve that problem, but human beings can.

Money

is important, but not the most. It can give us opportunities to make our dream come true or to help people.

However

, it cannot buy us real

love

, real relationship and real friends. I do believe that there are many ways to support people, not only cash;

for example

, using your big hearts. You can earn a lot of

money

when you alive, but it cannot follow you after you pass away.

Instead

of trying so hard to earn

money

, take a breath, live slowly and enjoy your life. Nothing except

love

stay forever!

Submitted by myhan1009 on Thu Mar 28 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

450 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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