some government have banned smoking in public places

#government #places

First

of all,

smkoking

the act of smoking tobacco or other substances

smoking

effect

Suggestion

affects

affect

more health of the human. Not only the

smokers but

Accept comma addition

smokers, but

also

the community and social. Specially, children

is easily influented

Suggestion

are easily influenced

is easily influenced

in the growing stages.

For example

, in the crowd one person

smoke

Suggestion

smokes

, everyone

aroud

in the area or vicinity

around

must suffer cigarettes smoke and they

also

have risk respiratory disease, cancers...

Honestly it

Accept comma addition

Honestly, it

is proven that cigarettes consist many

kind

Suggestion

kinds

toxics causing

Accept comma addition

toxic, causing

toxic causing

taxes causing

serious harm to a person's

healt

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

heart

head

the

Suggestion

The

number of people who died each year from smoking with heart diseases, lung cancer... Another reason, the smell of cigarettes

make

Suggestion

makes

everyone around unpleasant and annoying. To illustrate, in the restaurant, cafe or workplace, cigarette

smells

Suggestion

smell

clinging to food and clothes. It makes them

unfortable

impossible to forget

unforgettable

and the one is

implolite

not polite

impolite

to everyone around.

In addition

to, smoking affect to the environment destroyed day by day by cigarette and making cigarettes.

Morever it

Accept comma addition

Moreover, it

Moreover it

takes more money for

tabacoo

leaves of the tobacco plant dried and prepared for smoking or ingestion

tobacco

production In summary, the government decided correctly in banning smoking in public places.

This

help

Suggestion

helps

the country

dicrease

decrease in size, extent, or range

decrease

decreased

decreases

death rate caused by

tabacco

leaves of the tobacco plant dried and prepared for smoking or ingestion

tobacco

diseases and a positive

develpoment

act of improving by expanding or enlarging or refining

development

Submitted by pethuongkute261 on Sat Mar 30 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

175 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some government have banned smoking in public places

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

How can we prevent child abuse (including physical abuse, emotional abuse, child labor,…)? Give your opinion and support it with reasons and examples taken from your reading, experience, or observation.