In many countries, people working in sport and entertainment earn much more money than professionals like doctors, nurses, and teachers. Why do you think this happens in some societies? Do you consider it good or bad?

#countries #people #sport #entertainment #money #professionals #doctors #nurses #teachers #societies

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It is true that sportsmen and entertainers are generally richer than professional workers

such

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as doctors, nurses and teachers.

This

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due to

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the fact that these celebrities attract a large following and

therefore

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can earn money in many ways. I personally believe that

this

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wealth gap is justified by their hard work and willingness to deal with public pressure. The main reason why people working in

sport

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sports

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and entertainment are

better-off

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better off

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is that they are much more popular and

thus

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benefit from

this

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celebrity status. Apart from their main job, well-known athletes can secure lucrative contracts with sporting brands to endorse their products. Actors or singers may allow fashion companies to use their image in exchange for a huge sum of royalty.

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, professionals like doctors or teachers provide their services to a limited number of people, and can only get paid

accordingly

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. I would argue that celebrities earn great wealth through their efforts to improve themselves and face up to public scrutiny.

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this

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line of work is extremely competitive; would-be entertainers need to have a combination of luck and talent to stand out,

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otherwise

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otherwise,

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they may end up

worse-off

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worse off

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than an average worker. Even celebrities can be reduced to has-beens if they do not adjust to the ever-changing demands of the public.

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, famous people

has

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have

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less privacy and are often troubled by fabricated news and sensationalism. These negative aspects can be considered a price to pay for a life under the spotlight. In comparison, a professional can enjoy work and life separately and face much less competition. In conclusion, compared to professional workers,

sport

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sports

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stars and entertainers indulge in a wealthier lifestyle thanks to their greater popularity.

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is rightly earned through their application and at their own privacy sacrifice.

Submitted by leminhielts on Sat Mar 30 2019

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Extended

Task Response: The response provides a well-developed argument addressing the reasons behind the wealth gap between sports and entertainment professionals and professionals like doctors, nurses, and teachers. The writer presents a clear opinion on whether this gap is justified. The response is detailed and supported by relevant examples.

Extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are well-supported and the essay flows cohesively. However, there could be stronger connections between the supporting points to enhance overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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In many countries, people working in sport and entertainment earn much more money than professionals like doctors, nurses, and teachers. Why do you think this happens in some societies? Do you consider it good or bad?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first year after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any