IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Task 2: Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

#people #internet #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the 21th century, whether the drastic development of technology exerts positive or negative impacts on society has aroused a lot of controversy. While some of the people claim that the Internet has rendered people isolated from the outside
world
Use synonyms
, others believe it has significantly facilitated
communication
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 has undoubtedly helped to fill the
communication
Use synonyms
 gap
among
Suggestion
between
 people.
Firstly
Linking Words
, thanks to email and social media, transmitting information
does not take
Suggestion
do not take
 as much time as it used to do in the past. To be more specific, just 10 years ago,
hand-writing
Suggestion
the handwriting
handwriting
 was regarded as the main approach of
communication
Use synonyms
 in a far distance.
As a result
Linking Words
, to send a traditional letter between people living in two different cities or countries might take up to months to arrive.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays, distance is no longer a hindrance of
communication
Use synonyms
. Information can be transmitted
in
Suggestion
at
with
 the speed of light by clicking a button.
Additionally
Linking Words
, video calls which are prevalent in today’s
world
Use synonyms
 have made the connection among members of a family or a company who cannot have face-to-face conversations more intimate. Misunderstanding while communicating can
also
Linking Words
 be minimized.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 is assumed to help people broaden their relationship circle.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that cyber
world
Use synonyms
 has become more and more popular. Scientific findings have shown that the number of people using Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites are soaring, including people of all ages;
therefore
Linking Words
, those who wish to search for someone sharing the same viewpoints are highly likely to find a
soulmate
Suggestion
soul mate
 via social media.
People regardless
Accept comma addition
People, regardless
 of gender and religion can discuss one topic together in the virtual
world
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, for all these above
reason
Suggestion
reasons
, Internet has made
communication
Use synonyms
 much easier than ever before.
Submitted by buibichngoc317ls on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: