In recent years, people in many countries have been able to afford more material possessions such as electronic kitchen appliances, computers and vehicles. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this increased level of affluence, and give your opinion about whether this is a positive or negative development.

Today’s

people

Use synonyms

in the world buy a lot of things

such

Linking Words

as kitchen equipment, cars or computers to serve for their life.

This

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has resulted in rose

perfectly

Change the word

perfect

show examples

consumption.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks impact on changing to

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

. There are so great many

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

for individual domestics to buy a car or computer.

Firstly

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people

Use synonyms

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

a car can drive to many places they want

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes

Verb problem

gives

show examples

them

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

freedom.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

they can drive to

Correct pronoun usage

their job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means they can obtain many different

job

Change to a plural noun

jobs

show examples

which not depend on anything.

Secondly

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computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

also

Linking Words

more important chances to study or find out something we do not know or watch news or films that TV does not have. Especially, we can

connected

Change the verb form

connect

show examples

communication with other

people

Use synonyms

in the world.

Lastly

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, women

always

Add a missing verb

are always

show examples

busy

Change preposition

with

show examples

work or chores

therefore

Linking Words

they need kitchen devices so that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can help them

cleaning

Wrong verb form

clean

show examples

house

Correct article usage

the house

show examples

cooking

Replace the word

cook

show examples

However

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, synonymous consumption

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

on more disadvantage. One of the main

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

is pollution, which

come

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

from the manufactory. Mode of production cars, computers or other appliances probably leads to use the amount of resource that increasing pollution levels. After

producing

Replace the word

production

show examples

, the proportion of cars supply

Change preposition

apply

show examples

greenhouse gas

release

Change the verb form

releases

show examples

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

environment

Use synonyms

which makes

people

Use synonyms

ill.

In addition

Linking Words

, technology devices or kitchen equipment

although

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they do not affect the

environment

Use synonyms

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

risky

Replace the word

risk

show examples

explosiveness and take up space in

house

Add an article

the house

show examples

To sum up

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

material possessions are necessary for real life but first of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

we should

aware

Add a missing verb

be aware

show examples

of concern and protect the

environment

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

need to balance these advantages between spending and detrimental

environment

Use synonyms

vonhaclinh2014Mon Apr 01 2019

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

269 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Giving detailed description of crimes in newspapers and on television has bad consequences. Some people therefore suggest that the government should impose restrictions on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school students to study literature, such as novels and peoms. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

Shopping is now one of the most popular types of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?