Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #families #money #adult #life #parents

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Financial condition has profound impacts on children’s upbringing these days. It is argued that children coming from

disadvantaged background

Suggestion

disadvantaged backgrounds

a disadvantaged background

are better

equiped

provided or fitted out with what is necessary or useful or appropriate

equipped

in addressing issues than those of affluent families. From my perspective, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

view because of these following justifications. On the one hand, it is irrefutable that underprivileged kids are capable of making wise decisions independently.

This

Linking Words

is because they have to get accustomed to adversity from an early age.

As a result

Linking Words

, poor children ought to be self-caring, and simultaneously covering their family’s expenditures by being engaged in part-time jobs after school.

In addition

Linking Words

hardships

Suggestion

the hardships

they

have been through represent

Suggestion

have through been representing

have through been represented

have been through represent

valuable lessons about material life and human

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

behaviours

, conducting to their judicious choices in reality. No doubt,

dificulty

an effort that is inconvenient

difficulty

difficult

is a great teacher,

however

Linking Words

wealthy parents can provide appropriate

education

Use synonyms

and nurturing, which would facilitate the self-preparation for adulthood of their children.

Firstly

Linking Words

, adolescents without financial burden could be easily exposed to advanced

education

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

allows them to be knowledgeable and well-qualified in

this

Linking Words

knowledge-based society. When applying for certain professions,

for example

Linking Words

, well-educated students might academically perform better than those lacking

further

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

, which enables them to be dominant in the labour force.

Secondly

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

these affluent children might be unfamiliar with innate adversity, their families always seize on any opportunity to let them be matured. Students who study overseas,

for instance

Linking Words

, sharpen a well-informed mindset and multinational perspective towards diversified facets of life, leading to discriminating

judgements

an opinion formed by judging something

judgments

. Problems, in

this

Linking Words

case, would no longer be a formidable task. In conclusion,

education

Use synonyms

lays a concrete foundation for children’s growth.

Therfore

Suggestion

Therefore

, I do believe that wealthier children would have more advantages in terms of preparation for the future.

Submitted by thanhtung.vhp1907 on Mon Apr 01 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources, while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved?

Describe a challenging situation or an obstacle you encountered during your studies and elaborate on the steps you took to navigate through it. *

The best way to solve environmental problems is increase the fuel cost? do you agree or disagree?