Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #families #money #adult #life #parents

Financial condition has profound impacts on children’s upbringing these days. It is argued that children coming from

disadvantaged background

Suggestion

disadvantaged backgrounds

a disadvantaged background

are better

equiped

provided or fitted out with what is necessary or useful or appropriate

equipped

in addressing issues than those of affluent families. From my perspective, I disagree with

this

view because of these following justifications. On the one hand, it is irrefutable that underprivileged kids are capable of making wise decisions independently.

This

is because they have to get accustomed to adversity from an early age.

As a result

, poor children ought to be self-caring, and simultaneously covering their family’s expenditures by being engaged in part-time jobs after school.

In addition

hardships

Suggestion

the hardships

they

have been through represent

Suggestion

have through been representing

have through been represented

have been through represent

valuable lessons about material life and human

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

behaviours

, conducting to their judicious choices in reality. No doubt,

dificulty

an effort that is inconvenient

difficulty

difficult

is a great teacher,

however

wealthy parents can provide appropriate

education

and nurturing, which would facilitate the self-preparation for adulthood of their children.

Firstly

, adolescents without financial burden could be easily exposed to advanced

education

This

allows them to be knowledgeable and well-qualified in

this

knowledge-based society. When applying for certain professions,

for example

, well-educated students might academically perform better than those lacking

further

education

, which enables them to be dominant in the labour force.

Secondly

although

these affluent children might be unfamiliar with innate adversity, their families always seize on any opportunity to let them be matured. Students who study overseas,

for instance

, sharpen a well-informed mindset and multinational perspective towards diversified facets of life, leading to discriminating

judgements

an opinion formed by judging something

judgments

. Problems, in

this

case, would no longer be a formidable task. In conclusion,

education

lays a concrete foundation for children’s growth.

Therfore

Suggestion

Therefore

, I do believe that wealthier children would have more advantages in terms of preparation for the future.

Submitted by thanhtung.vhp1907 on Mon Apr 01 2019

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Write about the following topic: Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Some people say that the main environmental problems of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.