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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is expected in the near future that there will be higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

#future #proportion #people #population #countries #development
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Some individuals anticipate a higher ratio of people over 65 years old compared to youths, due to lower birth rate in some countries, especially developed ones, in the coming years. The question is,
however
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, whether
this
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 is an advantageous phenomenon or an adverse one. Despite some pros, I firmly believe population aging is harmful to the development of a
country
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.
To begin
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 with,
youths
Suggestion
the youths
 play an important role in the economic growth of a
country
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 and an aging society is one of the major problems every government
have
Suggestion
has
 to face. Elders rely on a monthly pension given by the
government which
Accept comma addition
government, which
 is usually provided by taxes from young people who work. If a disproportion between the number of young and old generation happens, resolving
this
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 problem needs an increase in taxes or declining investment in the productive sectors of the industry which damages the economic growth of the
country
Use synonyms
 in the long run. Another issue facing these countries will be the rise in the demand for health
care
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. Old people need more
care
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 and special facilities to protect them.
Also
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, health costs for elders are over four times higher than young people.
This
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 increase government consumption and cause a reduction in the gross domestic product (GDP) of the
country
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. It is shown in studies that an aging population can lower the GDP by 0.4 percentage
point
Suggestion
points
. Having said that, a higher percentage of elders in society can put the brakes on the development of a
country
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. The older the society become, the more
care
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 they need and more money needs to be spent on health
care
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 and pension money.
From
Suggestion
For
 the aforementioned reasons, it can be concluded that
this
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 phenomenon has negative effects on the development of countries.
Submitted by bqdyuc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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