IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisemnt for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter . Describe the training course you want to do . Explain what the company could do to help you . Say how the course will be useful for your job

#work #company #advertisemnt #course #job #manager
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter regarding a job posting published in a local newspaper
last
 week. I have a strong interest in
this
 job. I am a part-time student pursuing a course majoring in digital marketing.
Apart from
this
, I completed a comprehensive master's degree in Business Management in 2016 from London University. I noticed that the company is seeking experienced candidates, I have gained experience in different companies. My Master's degree included a year of internships with an international company as an assistant manager in the marketing department.
Moreover
, I have been part of many voluntary organisations which support small businesses by providing sophisticated marketing knowledge .
Furthermore
, I have been a marketing manager at the Bank of London for three years. Numerous recommendations indicate I am a competent recruitee for
this
 position.
Firstly
, my education, experience and relative skills meet with demanding job descriptions.
Secondly
, I work with integrity, loyalty and enthusiasm.
Last
 but not least, I would be flexible with my schedule. I hope my application will get positive consideration, eagerly await for response. Kind regards, Parm
Submitted by parminderbitti3 on

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task achievement
Ensure the content matches the topic prompt. Your letter seems more like a job application than a request for training approval from your manager.
coherence cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each main point to improve structure and avoid overloading the reader with multiple ideas in one paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are properly formatted, which adds a professional touch to your letter.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is formal and appropriate for the intended reader, demonstrating a good grasp of suitable writing tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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