Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children

Any type of media

coverage we

Accept comma addition

coverage, we

come across certainly has some impact on

any one

any person

anyone

who watches it or comes across. As far as children are

concerned they

Accept comma addition

concerned, they

are more vulnerable to

such

coverage. Now the question is, is

this

having a negative effect on children?

Well certainly

Accept comma addition

Well, certainly

so. Children tend to imitate and follow

celebreties

Suggestion

the celebrities

celebrities

. Any news related to

celebreties

a widely known person

celebrities

celebrate

are broadcasted

Suggestion

is broadcast

. The channels are not responsible for broadcasting just positive or appealing news. Now-a-days, there are many negative news related to

celebrites

a widely known person

celebrities

for

: Court cases, divorces,

money

a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'as' or 'too' or 'so' or 'that'; amounting to a large but indefinite number

many

battles, Sucides

etc

continuing in the same way

etc.

which

defintely

without question and beyond doubt

definitely

defiantly

have a bad effect on children.

Celebreties

Suggestion

Celebrities

are treated as idols. And

such

news

surely have

Suggestion

surely has

disheartning

destructive of morale and self-reliance

disheartening

effect on children. The bad part is

kids

Suggestion

the kids

do not

openely

in an open way

openly

speak about

such

impact on them

whith

expresses the means used

with

their parents and so it is too difficult to understand how far has it

impacted

Suggestion

Impacted

a child's behaviour.

Submitted by geetagulabani on Tue Apr 02 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

149 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.

Fully explain your ideas

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?