IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

COMPUTERS ARE BECOMING AN ESSENTIAL PART OF EDUCATION. DISCUSS THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#computers #part #education
As part of the
school
 assignment, computers are becoming the requirement. In my opinion, it is beneficial to children as today the average person's work-life resolves around computers and exposing younger people to the
computer
 early in
school
 prepares them for the future. The most prominent advantage is children get access to the Global
school
, which help them in understanding and learning better. On
other hands
Suggestion
the other hand
other hand
, sometimes they get distracted easily by social media and
computer
 gaming. Using the
computer
 at schools, children can access Global libraries like the online video tutorial,
FAQ forums,
Suggestion
FAQ, forums,
 free e-books and they can grasp on fundamental concepts easily. Without the
computer
, students have to rely only on books and tutorials given in the classroom, and if they have any other doubts or if they don't understand
material
Suggestion
the material
 easily, they get only limited help. But
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 has truly opened up the whole world to them, and they get the infinite amount of information.
For instance
, for any single math or science problem, they can find many different ways to solve it.
In addition
 to that, using forum they can interact with people having
same issues
Suggestion
the same issues
 and learn from each other. To
contrary
Suggestion
the contrary
, using the
computer
also
 brings distractions, for examples,
computer
 gaming, and social media, which hinders their progress on studies. While using the
computer
, it is very easy to get off track as it offers many other functionalities. When using study with paper and pen, focus comes easily. One of the examples of
this
 is, when using the
computer
 for doing an assignment,
children
Suggestion
the children
 end up checking their emails, playing a bit of game and checking their social media, as these functionalities are readily available. If the same assignment is done using Paper- pen, it gets done correctly.
Although
 there are some disadvantages to using too much
computer
 at
school
, they outweigh advantages as
computer
 skills are helpful in selecting good career options and maintaining high profile jobs. Today, around 80% - 90% job requires more or less of
computer
 work,
therefore
 learning
computer
 skills at
school
 level is really beneficial. To summarize, using the
computer
 at
school
 may cause the distraction to study, but in later like having good
computer
 skills are undeniable to any career options.
Submitted by dongtuyen3011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: