Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

Nowadays kids are very choosy about
food
. Parents always tries to provide healthy
food their children
Suggestion
food to their children
. According to research, in past obesity was only common in people ages above 20 years, but now it is common in small school students. In my opinion, it is due to the lots of changes occurs in living conditions. To spend a healthy
life it
Accept comma addition
life, it
is very necessary to eat healthy foods. Nowadays, junk
food
are
Suggestion
is
easily available and people find it convenient for themselves. The consumers are now
became
Suggestion
becoming
habitual to have a lot of junk
food especially
Accept comma addition
food, especially
kids due to which they have to suffer from lots of diseases because obesity is one of the risk
factor
Suggestion
factors
of many illnesses.
For example
, heart disease that
can occurs
Suggestion
can occur
being overweight.
Furthermore
, chips, fast
food
and other
junk
Suggestion
junk food, don't provide
junk food don't provide
junk food aren't providing
food
not provide any energy they are only one of the factor to make oneself sick. No doubt, children got attracted towards
this
kind of
food
because they find it tasty.
Moreover
,
this
unhealthy diet makes them internally weak, and another factor is, when they become
elder
advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)
older
they have trouble to make themselves look smart. Being overweight one can find lack of confidence and
also
low self-esteem. It
also
effect on physical activity because due to
this
individual get tired soon by working long hours.
Submitted by nizarnoor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: