Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

#obesity #disease #adults #children

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Nowadays kids are very choosy about

food

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. Parents always tries to provide healthy

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food their children

Suggestion

food to their children

. According to research, in past obesity was only common in people ages above 20 years, but now it is common in small school students. In my opinion, it is due to the lots of changes occurs in living conditions. To spend a healthy

life it

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life, it

is very necessary to eat healthy foods. Nowadays, junk

food

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are

Suggestion

easily available and people find it convenient for themselves. The consumers are now

became

Suggestion

becoming

habitual to have a lot of junk

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food especially

Accept comma addition

food, especially

kids due to which they have to suffer from lots of diseases because obesity is one of the risk

factor

Suggestion

factors

of many illnesses.

For example

Linking Words

, heart disease that

can occurs

Suggestion

can occur

being overweight.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, chips, fast

food

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and other

junk

Suggestion

junk food, don't provide

junk food don't provide

junk food aren't providing

food

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not provide any energy they are only one of the factor to make oneself sick. No doubt, children got attracted towards

this

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kind of

food

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because they find it tasty.

Moreover

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this

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unhealthy diet makes them internally weak, and another factor is, when they become

elder

advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)

older

they have trouble to make themselves look smart. Being overweight one can find lack of confidence and

also

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low self-esteem. It

also

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effect on physical activity because due to

this

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individual get tired soon by working long hours.

Submitted by nizarnoor on Wed Apr 03 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

219 words

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Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

Fully explain your ideas

It has been proved that smoking kills. In some countries it has been made illegal for people to smoke in public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that social networking sites have a considerably detrimental effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

n numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?